


Amoureux

by amoureuxdeloup



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bottom Sirius Black, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, Hurt Remus Lupin, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, POV Remus Lupin, Porn with Feelings, Protective Remus Lupin, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Shameless Smut, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Top Remus Lupin, and descriptions of abuse, fenrir greyback is a bitch, there is smut, theres is also blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25619533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoureuxdeloup/pseuds/amoureuxdeloup
Summary: Remus Lupin is the rookie for the Lions football team and slowly begins to regret his draft, as he falls in love with captain Sirius Black.Trigger Warnings- homophobia, blood, domestic abuse, panic attacks, mild violence, more blood, secx.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 65





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy mother fuckers. we will be posting every week unless we forget.  
> Tumblr- amoureux-de-loup

It was the last practice of the season before their first game. Remus was scared shittless, he still didn’t know his teammates as closely as he’d liked. He’d played in secondary and some in university, but this was nothing like that. This was so much more intense, he had people watching him, not just friend’s parents, it was strangers staring him down screaming if he did something “wrong” in their eyes. Creepy old men glaring down from the stands. Giving you chills. But he had to focus, if not, he’d be on his back in the middle of the field in three seconds flat. 

Remus took a deep breath, bouncing on the balls of his feet, shaking out his hands as if trying to shake the nerves awar. 

It wasn’t working. He was terrified. He had no idea what to expect.

Strong hands wrapped over Remus’ shoulders turning him around and holding him so he couldn't bounce around. Sirius stood in front of him. A little too close to his own face. 

In a tone that was barely a whisper he said, “Don’t worry too much, I’m sure you’re going to do great out there.” He gave a warm but gentle smile still holding on to his shoulders for a little too long. But for some reason unbeknownst to him, Remus didn’t mind. He found it almost comforting in a way. He returned the soft smile, saying back to Sirius, “Thanks, first game jitters kinda got to me, y’know since it’s in a couple days n’ all.” Sirius lifted one hand off of his shoulder, but kept the other steady, eyebrow raised. 

“First game? I thought I’ve seen you on the field before,” Remus shook his head seriously beginning to wonder what he was getting himself into.

“Nope, first game in the league. Got drafted last November, McGonagall saw something in me I guess.,” Remus said, and to his surprise Sirius responded one last time. 

“Well, I guess I should thank her then.” Remus’ face grew a bit warm as Sirius slid his hand off his shoulder and down his arm a bit as he turned to walk away. Remus sat there dumbfounded. 

The rest of practice, Remus was all but focused on the actual sport. All he could think about was Sirius, the way he’d grabbed his shoulders, the way he talked, he couldn’t keep his mind off of him. He tried to keep his eyes off of Sirius as best he could, but every time he looked up from the ground, all he could see was him. This was the most inconvenient time to be thinking about cute boys, but he couldn’t help himself. He began to wonder if that was how he was with everyone, until he watched Daniel slap Sirius’ ass and get a hard backhand to the left side of the face. Remus couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath at the face Daniel made after.

Remus knew that this practice would be one of the hardest he’d had to face. But like he told himself, it’s just practice. If he gets hurt, oh well. Coach McGonagall had called for rigorous drills as “warm up” before the game. Sprints, passing, shooting, dodging, everything and anything you can think of. 

During a set of suicides, he caught a glimpse of long-ish black hair. He tried not to pay too much attention to it and tapped the 40 yard line and ran back. Once finished, he made his way over to James. He was finishing a conversation with the coach and turned to face Remus.

“Give me just a sec,” Remus nodded, turning away and facing the opposite direction. 

Staring at him, was Sirius Black. The one he’d heard so much about. They held eye contact for a few seconds before Sirius was knocked on the shoulder by another taller man who tapped the back of his leg with his almost clown-esque shoe. Sirius looked away and continued working out his leg. Remus looked down and focused on a ladybug crawling over his shoe. He smiled a little, bending over and ushering the ladybug on to his finger. He stood back up to find James looking at him, eyebrow cocked. Remus still held the ladybug and began to talk to James.

“Hey so I was wonderi-” James stopped him.

“Yes it is,” The ladybug crawled over the back of his hand, James just looked at it, still confused as to why Remus had it.

“How’d you know what I was going to ask you. I could have asked what the play was going to be or something else,” James smiled.

“Well, when I catch you staring at the clipboard I’ll tell you what the play is. You know, you’re quite the smart arse, rookie. Captain will love you. Now stop focusing on the scrimmage, put that down and get back to the drills. Let me know if you need anything else.” Remus’ face flushed as he nodded. He thought of how long he was watching Remus stare.

“How long were you watching?” he asked, setting the ladybug on a longer piece of turf.

“Whole time, I won’t tell though. Not assuming anything, but if that happens to be the case I won’t say anything.” Remus kicked himself in his head, he nodded and brushed off his hands and ran back to do more sprints.

It was the start of the scrimmage, Remus was on the field making his way to mid field when James came running behind him grabbing his shoulder.

Remus spun around in fear of something bad happening. But James had a smile spread across his face.

“Tradition, stick out your left foot.” He did, James bent down, pulled a small piece of lace out from his pocket and tied it around the tongue of Remus’ shoe. Remus just sat there watching James do whatever it was he was doing. 

James looked up from the lace and gave a cheesy grin, finishing the absurdly tight knot and stood up looking Remus in the eyes. He gave a quick nod and jogged back to his placement. 

The game passed, everyone now sweaty messes.

“I think this win tonight is all thanks to the Warden. Dude you literally blocked the ball with your face like twice. And you came out no bruises, no scratches, no nothing! Incredible!” Jude shouted from the locker room, a towel around his neck. The rest of the team hollered in agreement. 

Remus had just slipped his sweaty shirt over his head when a gentle hand came to rest on his back. He jumped a little but eased into the touch once he realized whose hand it was.

“Good job out there tonight,” Sirius said cooly. Remus nodded a little.

“Thanks, uh you- you too.” He stumbled. Sirius let out a light laugh that made Remus’ heart skip. 

“Big travel day in a couple huh.” Sirius changed his tone a bit as more people flooded into the lockers. He slid his hand off of Remus’ back and continued messing around in his own bag. Outside of the game, Remus had only ever seen him in sweats. Tonight was about the same, A black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. 

Remus collected his things and said goodbye to the team. He got out his keys and went for his car. He unlocked it and slid into the front seat staring at his hands for a few seconds before starting the engine. He could still feel where Sirius’ hand was on his back. It was almost as if there was a handprint burned into the skin. His neck and face grew warm at the thought. He shook the feeling and put the car in gear, pulling out of his spot and driving home. 

It was a quick ride, seeing as it was 10:30 at night. As he unlocked his door and dropped his bag onto the ground he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. 

_Hey man, since the next game is out of town, wanna room together? I usually room with Prongs but Lily has been coming with a lot lately._

Remus smiled down at his phone. He knew he shouldn’t have a crush on his team captain, let alone a teammate, but he couldn’t help it. 

_Yeah totally :)_

Remus sighed at himself, _he was a disaster_. 

He knew this was going to end one of two ways. They would get shit-faced and Remus would accidentally confess, or it would be awkward the entire time. 

_It’s too late to worry about this. I’ll just try and not make a big deal out of it._

He trudged his way to his bed, remembering to take a shower before he laid down. He took shaky breaths under the pounding of the water, he wanted the anxiety to go away.

Once that was out of the way, he slid under the cool sheets for another restless, sleepless night. A night spent worrying about what probably wouldn’t even end up happening.

Finally, two hours before he had to get up, he fell asleep. What felt like minutes later, the alarm he’d set went off. He groaned and rolled over, trying to ignore the incessant noise, eventually giving in.

“I’m up I’m up, good lord.” He sat up, grabbing his phone and turning off the alarm, tossing it behind him. He hadn’t thought about Sirius or the room situation since the night before. But the second he began to think about it again, his stomach sank. He wanted to back out, but he couldn’t seeing as all the other rooms were already filled. He wanted to just crawl back in bed and stay there, but there was another game in a few days he had to be there for, so he eventually hauled himself out of bed and got ready, fixing his hair and pulling on a new set of clothes. He had his keys in one hand, coffee in the other, bag already in the car. He wasn’t at all ready, but he got in the car and started it up. He sat for a moment, hands in his lap just staring at the steering wheel. 

_Stop worrying. It'll be fine. It's not like I’ll have to sleep in the same bed as him or anything. Why am I making this such a big deal._

Once on the bus they were taking out to their final destination, Remus was sat by himself, legs stretched over both seats, taking up as much room as humanly possible when his phone buzzed. He lifted the phone. A text from Sirius lit up the screen.

_Please don’t be anything bad please don’t be anything bad please don’t be anything bad please don- oh he’s just asking the room number thank god. See, freaking out for nothing. This will all blow over soon enough._

_Hey, I was wondering about the room number, I don’t quite remember it._ He finishes the text with an embarrassed emoji that made Remus chuckle slightly.

Remus sighed and responded with the number, plugging his earbuds in and blasting some Violent Femmes as loud as he could to try and block out his thoughts. He was startled at the slight tap on his shoulder. He looked up timidly and felt a feeling of relief as it was only his teammate. 

“Oh, hey Kel’s you scared me a bit there.” Remus laughed nervously. 

“Ope, my bad. Just wanted to let you know that we’re here.” He smiled sheepishly. Remus nodded and stretched out his arms and legs before gathering his things. The nerves started to build again once he stepped on to the concrete. He tried to shake them off again telling himself that it was all going to blow over and not be a big deal. He began to walk off the charter bus when he made contact with Sirius, standing outside of the bus. Remus looked behind him; he _had been the last one off_. “Hey Moony,” Sirius smiled, gripping the straps of his backpack. “Hey Pads, you ready for the game in two?” Remus asked as they started walking towards the hotel. “That depends, are you ready?” Remus blushed slightly, “Uh yeah, hopefully.” 

“You’re not sure?” Sirius proded. “I don’t know, we’ve really never played the Ravens before.” Sirius patted Remus’ back, “You’ll be great-” he squeezed his shoulder, “I can feel it.” and with that he walked off into the lobby. 

Remus hadn’t been paying attention to the time as much as he’d liked, so he lost a good amount of the day sending important emails to important people, tapping away at the keyboard on his laptop. Remus was sat on the right side of the couch, sitting criss-cross and facing the flatscreen in front of him. He could hear Sirius rummaging around in his bag, hearing a small hum of excitement when he found what he was ultimately looking for. He saw Sirius peak around the corner and felt his eyes on him. He didn’t look up though, that was a recipe for trouble.

“You know, you should learn to relax more. You carry all your stress in your shoulders and your brow. Take a break Moony, come watch criminal minds with me,” Sirius said turning away. Remus could then feel how high his shoulders were so he dropped them, stretching out his face too. Scrunching it up and letting it go. 

“I think I’m just going to sleep on the pullout tonight. Seeing as there’s only one bed I figured you should have it.” Sirius stepped around the corner, shirt off and hanging over his arm. Remus felt his face flush.

“You aren’t serious, right?” Remus shut his computer and looked at Sirius, avoiding looking any farther down than his face. 

“Yes, I am.” Sirius scoffed.

“No, you are sleeping in the bed, do you know how broken those are? This hotel is cheap for a reason, Remus.” Remus rolled his eyes, _we bicker like an old married couple._

“I am sleeping here, end of conversation, Black.” Remus said, a little too harsh but he got the point across.

Sirius walked to stand in front of Remus, “No, I don’t think it is, _Lupin._ I’m not letting you sleep on some old disgusting pullout mattress. You are sleeping in the bed and that is an order from your captain. Got it?” Remus was shocked that Sirius was using his captain's tone on him. His voice was hard and cold, very different from his usual tone which was warm and inviting. He only did that when he was pissed off at someone. Remus’s entire body went cold. He swallowed the lump in his throat and responded meekly, “No Sirius, I don't want to wake you up or anything in the middle of the night.” _Maybe not so much an old married couple, maybe more like a scary army lieutenant and a tiny football player. Or at least that’s what this feels like._

Sirius nodded slightly until a cocky smile spread across his face.

“Fine but the next game after this is in Liverpool and we can have this conversation all over again.”

“Fine, I guess we will.” Remus retorted. Sirius walked away. Remus was left there- _again,_ with this awkward vibe hanging in the air.

_Progress, I guess._ He thought to himself as he hauled himself on the couch and grabbed the extra sheets in the closet. Sirius walked out of the bathroom, shirt off and looked at Remus, “Okay, okay, have it your way. When you wake up with a sore arse back it’s not my fault.” Remus felt himself blush up to his ears but tried to act natural. “Okay fine. I’m going to bed.” 

At nine am, Remus woke up to the sound of the shower. He flicked his eyes open, the dull light of the bathroom streamed in from under the door. He rolled over, attempting to ignore it until he gave in and grabbed his phone to try and wake himself up further. “Hey man.” He heard from behind him. Remus turned to see a wet haired, towel dawned Sirius emerging from the bathroom. In his sleepy haze he didn’t hear the sound of the shower turn off. Sirius stood there, a towel resting on his hips, revealing his toned body. “I was thinking we could head to this place downtown today, since we have the day off. There's this really cute coffee shop my uncle used to take me as a kid when I would come visit.” Remus attempted to keep his eyes on Sirius’ face but failed a few times, taking glances at his chest and stomach, mentally kicking himself. “So what do you think?” Sirius asked, slightly smiling. Remus cleared his throat, “Uh- erm yeah. Yes.” He responded, voice slightly cracking. Sirius chuckled a bit to himself as he went to grab his clothes out of his suitcase and retreated back into the bathroom to change. Remus buried his face in his hands as soon as Sirius had left the room. 

Sirius walked out of the bathroom, dawned in a black turtleneck and tan pants. He held a hair tie in his mouth as his hands moved behind his head and threw his hair up in a half assed bun. “Okay, your turn to use the bathroom.” Sirius said, lightly hitting Remus on the head as he walked through the room. Remus grabbed a sweater and pair of jeans out of his bag and went to go change in the bathroom. As he walked through the door he smelled the faint remnants of the cologne Sirius had sprayed on. Remus had realized that he had never noticed this detail about Sirius, but he had no problem with it. Remus quickly slipped his clothes on, fixing his bed head in the mirror. “Looking fresh Lupin.” Sirius remarked as the bathroom door opened. Remus went red, “Uh thanks, you too.” Sirius smiled at him.

“Ready to go? We can get breakfast there if you’d like.”

“Sure, that sounds nice.”

Sirius dragged Remus down the road out of the hotel, grabbing him by the sleeve of his shirt. “Come on it's this way.” 

“Are you sure? Shouldn't we get a taxi or something? Maybe pull up Google Maps?” Sirius shook his head. “Trust me.” The two walked several more blocks until they stopped in front of a small shop. _Amoureux du Loup._ “Wow, this looks nice… and expensive.” Remus said, staring inside of the shop. “Don’t worry about it, it’s on me.” Sirius opened the door, the bell jingling as they walked in. “What would you like?” Remus looked over the menu behind the counter. “Um, I'll take a chai and one of these- pastry things.” Sirius nodded and went to talk to the girl at the counter. “Hi Annabell, it's nice to see you.” Sirius said sweetly. Remus felt a pang of jealousy. “I’ll have the cappuccino and the crepes, and uh, he’ll have the chai and strudel.” Sirius said, leaning against the counter. Annabell smiled at him as she wrote down his order and whispered something into his ear before he turned back to Remus. Remus turned towards the tables and went to sit by the window, crossing his arms on the surface. Sirius followed him, rubbing his hands together slightly. “So uh, how do you know Annabell?” Remus asked timidly. “Like I said, I’ve been coming here for a while. It’s family owned. Her and her girlfriend took over after her mom passed away.” Remus felt the sinking feeling in his stomach dissipate. Sirius let out a small chuckle. “But really, it’ll be good, I promise.” Soon enough Annabell came by with two mugs and little plates. Remus took a sip of his tea and had to admit, it was the best chai he's ever had.

As the two walked out of the coffee shop, Sirius punched Remus lightly in the arm, “I told you it was good.”

“Okay yeah, it was really nice.” Sirius beamed back at him. They wandered around town for most of the day, going into little antique shops, a bookstore and a nice tea shop. 

They had lost track of most of the day when Sirius’ phone rang in his pocket. He gave Remus an offhanded look before taking it out and setting it up to his ear.

“Uh hello?” Remus could only hear snippets of the conversation, but he could put together it was James being worried about their health and safety.

“Yes we know what time it is,” he gave Remus a panicked look. “Listen man, I’m sorry we missed team lunch, it wasn’t on purpose.” Remus could hear James through the phone, “We thought you got murdered or some shit! I’m glad you guys aren't dead though, just give us a heads up next time you two go on one of your little dat-” Sirius interrupted him.

“Will do Potter, goodbye.” Sirius hung up on James before he could say anything else. “I’m sorry about that Re, we should head back to the hotel before team dinner.” Remus felt his face heat up at James’s comment before Sirius hung up.

“Right, yeah we should get going. Today was nice though.” Sirius gave a grin, blushing a bit himself. 

Sirius and Remus walked back to the hotel room, dropping their bags of tea and trinkets that they had bought that day. “Okay after dinner we should probably turn in, we have to be up at like six tomorrow.” Sirius said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, and maybe, if it’s still okay I could sleep on the bed…?” Remus asked timidly. Sirius broke out laughing, “I told you! I told you it would be uncomfortable!”

“Okay, okay, you were right.” Remus confessed, laughing a bit himself. “It’s like five, should we get ready to meet the guys?” Sirius asked, fiddling with his hair in the mirror. “Yeah sure.” Remus absentmindedly fidgeted with his own. “Alright come on.” Sirius laughed, grabbing Remus’ hand. 

After dinner, the two stumbled back into the room, laughing and slightly tipsy. “Okay, okay, How about we watch Criminal Minds before bed, eh? We never got to yesterday.” Sirius offered, pulling his sweater up and grabbing some sweats from his suitcase. “Oh okay, mister ‘lets get some sleep when we get back’.” Remus teased. “Oh shut up.” Sirius laughed, throwing his sweater at the other boy. Sirius walked into the bathroom, shooting one last glance at Remus. Remus took this chance to change into sweats of his own, moving quickly. The bathroom door opened while Remus began to pull his shirt over his head. Sirius whistled dramatically, as he flopped onto the bed. Remus walked over to join him, trying to leave enough space between them. “Come closer, I want you to be able to see the screen too.” Sirius giggled, pulling on Remus’ arm. “Okay, _one_ episode. Then we should sleep.” Sirius nodded happily, then pressed start on the episode. Thirty minutes passed, then forty-five, then an hour. They had watched four episodes before Remus looked over at the clock, _2:37_. Remus realized how close the two had gotten, he had slowly inched his way over, so close that his legs were almost on top of Sirius’. He didn’t want to move away though. He looked over at Sirius, who was already asleep, head against the backboard, one hand loosely around the phone and the other on his leg. Remus held his breath and just listened to the soft slow breathing.

Sirius shifted in his sleep, putting his arm around Remus.

He just sat there not knowing what to do, when Sirius pulled him in a bit, into his chest. Remus was internally freaking out at this point, he was basically cuddling Sirius Black. He never dreamed this would happen. He hesitantly reached a hand out and rested it gently on Sirius’ stomach. He moved his head to lay carefully on the side of his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He felt Sirius’ arm tense a bit at his side, his breathing and heartbeat speeding up a bit. Remus looked up, his face was twisted almost in anguish. His legs started moving, tensing and shifting around. “Hey, Sirius.” Remus whispered at him, sitting up. Sirius’ brow furrowed further. “ _Sirius.”_ Sirius’ eyes flung open and he almost fell off the side of the bed. “Dude, are you alright?” Remus asked as his friend maneuvered himself back on. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-“ Sirius’ voice choked a bit. “It’s okay man, are you alright?” He said, putting his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “I- yeah, yeah I’m fine. I’m uh, gonna try and get back to sleep.” Remus nodded and shot his friend one last reassuring glance then shifted to face away from him. 

  
  
  


The morning came earlier than expected, and Remus woke up to blinding light flooding into the room. “Rise and shine sleeping beauty.” Sirius laughed, pulling back the curtains. Remus groaned, shoving his head into the pillow. He grumbled into the mattress, “Five more minutes.” “Nope, practice is in an hour. Come on, let’s get moving.” He grabbed Remus’ arm to pull him off the bed. Remus went limp and let Sirius drag him off the bed, his top half flat on the floor, his legs half on the bed, half in the air. “Fuck off,” Remus grumbled. With that Sirius picked up a pillow and proceeded to hit his friend with it. “Okay! Okay. I’m up.” Remus put his hands above his head as he sat up. Sirius laughed and padded off to the bathroom, leaving the door open. Remus sat against the bed, letting his head rest on the side of it. 

“You awake in there?” Sirius asked, popping his head around the corner, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. Remus shot his hand up, throwing a thumbs up in the air. 

“We have to be out of here in forty five minutes, let's get a move on so we aren’t late.” Remus stood up, stretching out his back and arms, his shirt riding up a little. He yanked it back down and went over to the bathroom, still half asleep. 

Remus splashed water over his face to wake himself up a bit, standing back up and drying his face off turning to Sirius, who was staring absent at the mirror.

“You ok?” that seemed to shake him out of whatever trance he was in.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Remus looked at the counter for a moment.

“Can we talk about last night? Are you sure you’re ok?” Sirius went pale. Remus regretted asking. The two of them stayed quiet before Remus decided to speak again.

“No pressure, we don’t have to. We need to get goi-”

“We can talk about this later.” Sirius cut in.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Remus said absentmindedly, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry if I seemed a little _rude_ ,” Sirius let out a nervous laugh, then continued. “Um I’m gonna go pack my duffel.” Remus cringed at himself once Sirius left the bathroom. _How dumb could he really be?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow us at amoureux-de-loup on tumblr for more content.

The time left in the hotel was a blur, and before Remus knew it he was climbing onto the bus to head to the football pitch. He walked down the bus looking at his teammates as he did so. He caught Sirius’ eye for a second but he didn’t want to make anything more awkward than it already was. He sat himself behind towards the back, two seats away from Chris, which they lovingly called Oak for his large stature and fatherly personality. 

“Hey rookie,” he called back, “you’re gonna do great today, alright?” 

“I’m pretty sure every person on this team has said that to me.” Remus laughed dryly. 

“Just makin’ sure you know. It’ll be an easy game. I’m sure now that we have you and Black up there on the same team, we’ll be just fine.” Chris smiled at Remus. 

Remus blushed slightly at the mention of Sirius but tried to act natural. “Thanks, Oak.” Chris nodded and turned back around in his seat. Remus let out a breath and let his head hit the back of the seat. 

Once there, they unloaded the team off the bus. Sirius easily caught up to Remus, nudging his shoulder with his own. Remus looked over, a sneaky blush spreading over his cheeks. 

“I just wanted to say sorry about earlier. That was kind of a dick move. I’m fine though. Really. No need to worry about me.” Remus nodded, still a little shaken. 

“Right.” Was all Remus said before heading in.

“I’m fine. Really.” Sirius called, trying to catch up to Remus. 

_ I don’t believe that for one second. _

“Yep, I heard you.” Remus almost spat out.

“Okay fine,  _ fine.  _ We can talk about it later. At the hotel.  _ I promise,  _ okay?”

“Fine.” Remus responded, taking a sharp turn into the locker room. Sirius stood there dumbfounded for a second, then headed in with the rest of the team.

Remus’ frustration fueled his playing in the scrimmage. “Ooh, hot damn! Moony’s mad about something. Never seen him play  _ this  _ good.” Charlie called.

“Okay Warden, how about you shut the hell up.” He called back. He nailed the ball hard, letting it soar over Charlie's head, slamming into the net. He turned to jog back, when he was met with Sirius’ eyes, staring him down. He flashed a half assed smile and ran past. 

“Remus, take a seat and cool off.” McGonagall called over to him. “Yes coach.” He responded timidly, running towards the bench. Once he was sitting she blew the whistle for the game to continue. 

“Lupin, what has gotten into you today?” She asked, briefly glancing towards him. 

“Sorry coach, I guess I’m just a little frustrated.”

“Alright kid, just make sure you’re not getting any penalties tonight, we need you on the field.”

“Yes ma’am.” he responded, taking a swing from his water bottle. 

After practice, while the boys were in the locker room, Remus felt a tap on the shoulder. He turned quickly expecting Sirius to be there. But James stood in front of him, a gentle smile on his face.

“Can we chat for a sec? I just need to make sure things are okay.” Remus nodded. James motioned for the two of them to walk. Remus set his stuff down and followed James into the back hall.

“Ok, what’s going on.” Remus sighed but decided to be honest.

“Last night was rough. It’s just- it’s just Sirius.” James nodded slowly

“What about Sirius.” he asked.

“Something is clearly wrong and he isn’t telling me. I don’t want to say I’m worried, but I am. He was having a nightmare or  _ something _ but he just kept insisting it was fine.  _ God,  _ I’m sorry this is so dumb.”

“It’s not dumb, Remus. I kind of figured something was up with the two of you, with you shooting daggers at him, and him looking like a kicked puppy. Do you want me to talk to him?” James offered, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Remus shook his head.

“He told me we’d talk. I just don’t want him to be hurt. I don’t want him to be- sad. I guess that’s the word for it. I don’t know,” he threw his hands up in exclamation. 

“Hey man, I totally get that. Lily and I have been through that- not, not like youre a couple or anything, I mean if you are that’s fine but- I’m just trying to say it happens but it gets better.” James said, stumbling through his words. Remus blushed violently. “Thanks for the advice man, and uh no were not- y’know, dating or anything.” James gave him a soft smile and a pat on the back before walking back into the locker room, leaving Remus in the hallway. He took a deep breath, letting all the pent up energy and anger out with it.

The game was tough, but playable. Because Remus was still a tad angry, he had the energy to carry the team. They won 10-1. Great way to start the season, and to think it was just because Remus had a bad night. But now came the hard part. He actually had to  _ talk  _ to Sirius. But he didn’t have to worry about that until they actually got back to the hotel. Which wasn’t for another few hours. Team dinner, drinks, and then the ride back. 

Team dinner was a breeze, nothing really happened. Game talk, things like that, Sirius and Remus occasionally catching glances at each other. But when they went for drinks, something in the air changed. Remus had gotten a keystone lite and was sitting at a table alone, when what seemed like out of thin air, came Sirius. He had a gin and tonic in hand. He sat in front of Remus and set his drink down, folding his hands in front of him. 

“Hi?” Remus said, wondering what number drink this was for Sirius.

“Hi.” He replied, picking up the glass and taking a short swig.

Remus sighed, “We need to talk.” Sirius’ grin faded into pursed lips.

“Right, I said I was gonna do that didn’t I.” Remus nodded.

“Yeah, yeah you did. Start talking then.” Sirius looked at the table, picking at a piece of wood.

“Sirius, I’m here to help. I don’t know what’s going on with you but we need this sorted out and we need it sorted out now.” Sirius didn’t look up from the table.

Remus just kept looking at him, waiting for something to be said. But nothing was being said. This just made Remus more angry. “Sirius please.” he said in a softer tone, regretting having been kind of an ass for the past few hours. “If it was something I did-” Sirius looked up quickly.

“No! No it wasn’t you. I just have bad dreams every now and then.” Remus looked skeptical.

“That was no ‘bad dream’. That was a full blown night terror.”

“Okay fine. Let’s just say I don’t have the best parents alright? And they were not ‘nice’ growing up, or now.” Sirius confessed in his drunken stooper. 

“Sirius, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I wouldn’t have asked if I-” Sirius cut him off.

“It's fine. It’s just a dumb nightmare. I can deal with it.”

Remus felt like shit. He had absolutely no idea what he was diving into. 

“Do you wanna watch Criminal Minds when we get back to the hotel?” Sirius asked with a sheepish smile. 

“Yes. Of course.” Remus responded, a grin spreading across his face. 

Since Sirius was tipsy, almost on the verge of being drunk, he had passed out in his bus seat as they drove back to the hotel. Remus had sat across from Sirius, keeping an eye on him just in case something were to happen. He looked ahead to see eyes peeking over a few rows of seats in front of him. James poked his head up and flashed an OK sign at Remus. He chuckled and flashed a thumbs up back. James nodded once and turned back around. 

Once back to the hotel, Remus woke Sirius up, who apparently had a very fast metabolism and sobered up pretty much all the way by the time they got back.

The lights came on and Remus got up, leaning over and resting a hand on the sleeping man's shoulder, shaking him gently to wake him up.

Sirius grumbled something and cleared his throat, looking around confused. 

“Hotel?” He asked before getting up.

“Hotel.” Remus answered.

Sirius shimmied his way down the aisle and out the door. Remus shooed Sirius along, and into the elevator. Sirius leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. All Remus could do was stare. He looked so peaceful, he could so easily just lean up and-

The elevator dinged, signalling them it was their floor. Remus was shoved from his trance as he walked out, waiting for Sirius to get out as well before they started walking to their room.

“Hey I just wanted to ask something,” Remus asked. Sirius hummed in response.

“Why me? Why did you pick me, of all people to room with. Why not James, or Daniel, or Chris. Why me?” Sirius looked over at Remus and shrugged.

“I dunno, you just...I dunno. It was just something about you.” He was withholding something. Remus couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. But there was something. He just nodded. 

Once in the room, Sirius collapsed on the bed.

“Move over you oaf.” Remus teased. Sirius waved a hand behind him as if to try and smack the other boy. He shoved his legs out of the way so he could just wiggle on to the bed. 

“Oh now you’re not refusing?” Sirius prodded. 

“Did you want me to sleep on the pullout?” Remus retorted.

“No!” Sirius cleared his throat, “Uh, no.” 

“What are-you know what, no. nevermind.” 

“What? Tell me Moony.”

“Why should I tell you anything?” he tested.

“Because I’m your captain.” Sirius joked. 

“Is that supposed to scare me?” Remus laughed.

“Erm, yes?” 

“Well, you might need to do a better job, it’s not working so well.” Remus half whispered.

“Okay but tell me pleaaaase.” Sirius said, dramatically batting his eyelashes. 

“Never.” Remus shoved his face away. 

Sirius fell back on the bed, defeated. 

“You’re such a drama queen, you know that?” Remus looked down at him.

“I don’t see a problem with that.”

“Never said there was, just saying you are one.” Remus left Sirius on the bed, going to change out of his clothes, into sweats. He could feel his eyes on his back the whole way to the bathroom. He closed the door and slid off his jeans to replace them with grey sweats. 

When Remus finished in the bathroom, he went back out to the bed to find Sirius on his back, the TV on in the background. Remus hopped on and sat next to him. Sirius had an almost sad look on his face. 

“Hey, you ok over there?” Remus asked, scooching a little closer. Sirius didn’t nod this time, he just kind of shrugged his shoulders.

“What's wrong, anything I can do?” Remus looked at him, finally meeting his eyes. Sirius looked at Remus, but looked away quickly.

“It’s nothing.” Remus scoffed.

“We did this already. I know you’re not telling me everything.”  _ You never do.  _ He set his hand carefully on Sirius’ arm. Sirius sighed and continued to look down.

“It’s my family. They’re on a rampage again.” Remus waited for more.

“I just- it’s not that they aren’t my  _ family  _ I mean they are but, it just doesn’t feel like it. I feel like the team is more like my family than they are. I mean with you it’s  _ different,  _ I guess. Like more. I don’t know how to explain it.” 

“Okay, can you maybe try? Just so I know. No pressure.” He began to babble, hoping this would be it.

“I don’t think it can be put into words, really. It's more of a feeling. Yes I feel safe around the team, but with you it's just so different. You make me feel like I’m valued, I guess. I don’t know, it’s dumb, I’m sorry I’ll stop.” 

Remus flicked his eyes at Sirius’ lips then up back to his eyes, but restrained himself from acting on impulse. Sirius put his head in his hands, rubbing his temples.

“No it’s fine. It’s not dumb. I get it, and thanks- I think.” he said trying to lighten the mood a little. 

“It's getting late. Bus leaves at seven tomorrow. Maybe we should sleep a little before then.” Remus said after a beat of silence. Sirius nodded, not lifting his head from his hands. Remus put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

“Hey, look at me.” Remus said gently. Sirius lifted his head a little.

“It’ll be okay. All of this will just be a memory in the morning. Why don’t we get some rest? Sound good?” Sirius picked his head up fully and nodded, giving a weak smile. He leaned his head briefly on Remus’ shoulder before slamming back against the pillows with a soft thud. Leaving them both to fall asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Around two weeks had passed since they had stayed in the hotel together, things had gotten better between the two boys, they had gotten together privately to get drinks and to talk just about life. No one knew this was happening, not Patrick, not Chris, not even James. Which was a bit of a stretch. If James didn’t know, no one knew. 

James’ birthday was slowly coming up and he decided to invite over the team, which Sirius had said yes to, evidently forcing Remus to go with him, just getting shit faced. He had no problem going, but he was worried about one thing. He knew that James would set out drinks, most likely things with very high alcohol content, and Remus would openly drink them, get drunk and probably spill his feelings to Sirius. He liked the way things were going so far. They could be open with each other, they could talk about things without feeling like they had to withhold anything. But of course, he couldn’t predict the future. He had no idea what would happen next and all he could do was hope. 

And finally the day had come. Remus was internally freaking out the entire time until he pulled into James’ driveway. He let himself be nervous and antsy for a few seconds before making himself get out of the car. He made his way out of the vehicle and to the front door, hesitating before knocking.

A few loud crashes, yelling and laughing before the door opened to reveal a very disheveled James, half of a glass of wine in his hand, the other half- and the wine that was in it, on the floor a few feet behind him.

“Moony! Mind the mess. Come in, come in.” James stepped aside, holding the door for Remus to step in.

Remus stepped through the door, looking at the carnage that was, Patrick and Jude were sitting on the floor, back against the wall, glasses in hand. Chris, Will, Oliver and Charlie were sitting at the island in the kitchen, Lily on the other side laughing at something they had said. 

Daniel and Jonathan were meandering around the main sitting area, and finally Sirius. He was in the kitchen, getting some paper towels to clean a mess. Remus smiled to himself as he walked in, Sirius saying a quick greeting before kneeling down to clean up red wine. Remus waited for Sirius to stand back up with his wad of cherry stained paper towels. Remus grabbed them from his hands, brushing his fingers across the back of Sirius’ hand and over his knuckles, watching his face grow red and his eyes grow a little wider. Remus just smiled and took the paper towels to the garbage, stopping to chat with Lily briefly.

“Remus! My god it’s been  _ ages! _ How’ve you been holding up?” she wrapped her arms around his neck, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“Hey Lils, I’ve been good. Football has been taking everything out of me but I’ve been good. Really need to thank James for that.” Lily smiled.

She reached up and rubbed the side of his face with her hand a bit.

“And I see you’ve stopped shaving?” Remus laughed feeling a pair of eyes trained on him.

“Yes mother I have, I just haven’t seen the point as of lately. I was going to this morning but just never got around to it.” She pulled her thumb over the large crescent shaped scar over the left side of his face. 

“Hun, how have you been?” He pursed his lips the thought of how he got the scar flooding through his mind. His eyes wandered down.

“I’m doing better.” Lily nodded and smiled warmly.

“I’m glad.” Remus smiled and laughed nervously.

“Right, right yeah. Good thing,” She patted his shoulder gently, telling him to go on with his night. 

“Alright Remus, what’ll you have?” James said entering the kitchen. 

“Um, I’ll just have some wine.” He responded, fidgeting with the hem of his tee shirt. 

“Alright lad.” James said, pouring the cranberry colored wine into a glass. Remus took the glass from his friend and stood there for a second not knowing what to do. “Hey Moony!” Jonathan called, “Come out here and drink with us.” Remus walked out into the living room, eyes flicking around to look at everyone, they were sitting in a disformed circle near the couch. His eyes caught Sirius’ for a second, then flicked at the empty space next to him. Remus walked around to go sit on the edge of the couch, wine glass in hand. 

Remus clutched his glass, maybe a little harder than necessary as he sat. Sirius looked over at him, a smile played at his lips.

“I don’t bite, move in more, you're on the very edge.” Remus inched his way in. 

“Oh come on you barely moved.” Sirius teased. Remus moved fully onto the armrest now, still clutching his glass hard. Sirius chuckled, “What did I tell you? Relax man.” He went in for another swig of his drink. Patrick held his cup up and elbowed Jonathan in the face. “To us not sucking ass this season!” The boys all reciprocated, laughing as they repeated Sims’ words. “Woah there Simmons, were only a couple games in.” Sirius joked. Remus watched his friend as he took another swig of his drink,  _ god he was beautiful.  _ Remus shook his head slightly, averting his gaze so as to not draw any attention. After a couple more minutes of the guys joking around in Potter’s apartment, Remus felt Sirius’ phone send a buzz through the couch. As he opened it to look at the notification his smile faded. Sirius tossed his phone back next to him and it buzzed several more times. Remus bent down to whisper something to his friend, “Pads, you alright? Need me to drive you home?” Sirius just shook his head and tried to continue enjoying himself. Remus  _ knew  _ something was wrong but he couldn’t know what unless Sirius told him. “Do you guys wanna turn on a horror movie somethin’? Charlie asked, mouth filled with crisps from the bowl in the middle of the coffee table. Sirius looked down at his phone again, this time it was ringing. “Erm you guys can turn it on, I have to go uh take a call.” And with that he abruptly stood up and walked out of the room. 


	4. Chapter 4

Remus had been sitting there with the rest of the team, talking about the games and new strategies, taking drinks every now and then, when Sirius came back into the room.

Lots of ooo’s and ‘Sirius you got a girl?’ when he entered. He made a line straight for Remus and grabbed his shoulder tightly from over the back of the couch. Jude from across the room shouted, “Sirius has a girlfriend I called it!” Sirius looked at him, staring him down. Jude sensed the anger and sunk in his seat.

“Can I talk to you? In private?” He whispered in Remus’s ear. Remus nodded, a little confused but he got up, setting his glass down on the table.

“Back in a sec.” He said to the group as they both left. Once they turned a corner, Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him into a spare bedroom shutting the door behind them.

Remus’ face grew warm at the heavy feeling of another hand in his. 

“What-” Sirius pushed him against the wall and kissed him roughly. Remus was at a loss for words, much less actions. In seconds Remus gave in, his hands traveling to Sirius’ back, palms flat against him. Sirius cupped Remus’ chin in his hand, his other hand resting on his hip. 

Sirius was the first to pull away searching Remus’ face for something, Remus just smiled dumbly.

“You ok?” Sirius asked, Remus nodded and pulled Sirius back up for another bruising kiss, Sirius just hummed in response. 

Remus was hesitant to move his hands, afraid that he would do something wrong and Sirius would leave. He kept his hands flat against Sirius’ back before he pulled away.

“You can touch-” he grabbed Remus’ hand and rested it on his chest, the slow rise and fall driving Remus crazy. “I won’t break.” That was all Remus needed, he leaned down, kissing Sirius again. He couldn’t get enough of him. He could kiss him forever if he could. He moved his hands around to his back again, slipping them under the sweater, his warm hands against Sirius’ cold skin. He felt Sirius gasp and let out a light laugh against his lips. This felt like a dream, a dream he didn’t want to end. 

“Wait,” Sirius whispered between kisses, “We probably shouldn’t- uh makeout in James and Lily’s spare bedroom.” Remus let out a soft laugh. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” 

“Let's go back to my place, yeah? I’ll make a cover story.” Sirius reached up and fixed his hair quickly before opening the bedroom door, Remus quickly followed. They rounded the corner and Sirius began to speak. 

“Hey guys, I’m sorry I got to go. My little brother is really sick and my parents need some help taking care of him, Moony’s gonna drive me home.” Remus just nodded in response and briefly waved goodbye. The two walked through the door into the chilly May air, absentmindedly moving closer. Remus hopped into the driver side of the car and put his keys into the ignition.

They drove in silence, only the GPS and car engine provided any noise. “You should let me make you a drink.” Sirius said, moving his hand on top of Remus’. 

“We were just drinking.” Remus laughed, lacing their fingers together on top of the gearshift.

“You only had a glass of wine.” Sirius retorted.

“Okay.” Remus said sweetly, looking off of the road briefly. They pulled into the parking structure of Sirius’ apartment, Sirius fished around his pockets for his set of keys, pulling them out and opening the car door. Sirius led Remus through the corridors until they came to his flat. Once they both threw the door and it was closed, Remus was being pushed up against it. Sirius pressed a bruising kiss to Remus’ lips, resting one hand on the door behind him and one on his ribs. Remus melted under Sirius’ touch, he felt as though his knees were about to buckle under him. Sirius pulled away, a smirk on his face, 

“How about that drink?” 

“Can I at least ask what you’re gonna make me, Black?” Sirius gave him another mischievous look, “I was thinking about making you a blowjob shot.” Remus blushed a dark red, choking on his breath. “A what?” He croaked. 

“ _ Remus,  _ calm down. It’s coffee liquor, and Irish cream. It's called a blowjob shot,  _ because you can’t use your hands, only your mouth. _ ” Remus swallowed hard, feeling a heat in his stomach. Sirius turned towards the kitchen, grabbing two bottles from a cupboard. After a minute or two, Sirius set a shot glass onto the island. “Go ahead.” He said, leaning on his elbows to watch. Remus took a breath and leaned over the glass, eyeing it. He clenched his jaw briefly before basically unhinging it and setting his lips around the rim of the glass, throwing it back and swallowing it all before setting the glass back down, no spill anywhere. He looked at Sirius, his eyes were wide. 

“So I’m guessing I did it right?” Remus said, a mischievous smile on his face. 

“Uh-“ Sirius croaked, “yes, yeah that’s good for a beginner.” Remus let out a loud snort. Remus walked around the kitchen island, grabbing the back of Sirius’ neck. The kiss was hot and quick, leaving Sirius wanting more. Before Remus could walk away, Sirius grabbed his wrist, pulling him back against him. Remus was met with a searing hot kiss as he turned, pushing Sirius into the kitchen island. Sirius absentmindedly tugged on the back of Remus’ tee shirt. 

“Wait, Sirius?” Remus asked between kisses. Sirius immediately pulled away.

“What, are you ok?” Remus nodded and continued.

“Yes I’m fine, I need to ask though,  _ why? _ ” Sirius looked confused.

“Why did you- what made you kiss me? At James’.” he couldn’t believe he was asking. He knew this would fuck everything up but he had to ask. Just for peace of mind.

“Do you want an honest answer?”  _ It’s not because he wants me. This is something else. _

“Yes, Sirius I do.”  _ give me white lies, I think I’d be happier with that. _

“Don’t get mad, please. I know this is going to sound selfish and don’t get me wrong, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,”  _ slow burn, I love it when he does this.  _

“But- my mum called me. She had wanted me to go out with some girl tonight but I said no. She wants to- to  _ fix  _ me.” Remus pushed him off and walked across the kitchen, anger flooding his mind. 

“Re, I- please look at me, I’m sorry I just-” Remus stopped him again.

“No, Sirius. This is about your mother? You  _ kissed me  _ to spite your mother-? I cannot  _ believe  _ you. You lead me on for this entire time just to- to what, kiss me and tell me it’s not-” His voice broke, sending hot tears down his face. 

“Remus I-” 

“I am  _ not  _ done. I thought there was something. I thought for a second this was actually going to  _ go _ somewhere. But if this is just some scandal to get back at your mother, I can’t be a part of it. I can’t just be some piece in a broken puzzle.” His words shot out like bullets, each couple words cracking. Remus pushed past Sirius, working his way toward the door.

“Remus, please.” Sirius spoke, his voice almost a whisper. He doesn’t even turn around, hand still on the doorknob. Sirius took a couple steps forward, gently placing his hand on Remus’ shoulder. Remus opened the door and shrugged his shoulder out of Sirius’ grip. 

“Don’t touch me. You can try and convince me why you’re not a total arse in the morning.”

Remus rushed down the stairs, tears pricking his eyes. Once he got into his car he put his head down onto the steering wheel and opened the floodgates. Minutes passed, Remus still sat in his idle car until his tears slowed. He turned down the road, wishing that the night could have gone better. It had been the best and worst night of his life and he didn’t think it would ever get better. 


	5. Chapter 5

Remus pulled down the street. He wasn’t just upset, he was  _ furious. He had been used _ . He needed a drink. He needed to go home. And so he did. 

He drove home, slamming the car door behind him and trudging his way through the doorway and straight into the kitchen and to the liquor cabinet, grabbing the largest bottle, which turned out to be Svedka. He really didn’t care at this point, he just wanted to forget. He wanted to forget everything that happened. So he drank. And drank. And drank. Until the bottle was empty. He would seriously regret this in the morning. But right now, he didn’t care. 

He woke up the next morning with little to no memory of what happened between getting home and where he is now. His head panged with pain, as he looked around the well lit room. 

Remus’ back began to hurt as he looked around at where he was.  _ Coffee table, couch- wait. I’m on the floor. How am I on the floor? What happened? _

Remus got off the floor to be met with an empty bottle in the face. 

_ Vodka. How much did I drink? _

He stood up, stretching out his back and feeling around his pockets for his phone, finding it in his back left pocket. He took it out and opened the home screen seeing a message from last night.

_ Hey, I know you don’t want to hear from me but please just listen. Meet me at the cafe we went to. I just need to say a few things, I’ll pay for everything. You don’t even have to say anything. Just listen. Meet me there at noon tomorrow. _

Remus sighed and set his phone down on the couch.  _ He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this.  _ He sent only one word back.

_ Fine. _

As soon as he pressed send his stomach dropped, he felt his breathing quicken a bit. _He really didn’t want to do this right now._ _Was there any other choice?_

Remus pushed himself off the floor, carrying his aching body to the bathroom down the hall. He blindly fumbled around for the Asprin in the top drawer, dropping it on the floor as he tried to open it. He mumbled an expletive under his breath, bending down to grab the bottle, opening it and dumping a few into his hands, swallowing them dry. Cupping his hands under the faucet, he scooped up some water to push the pills down.

_ 10:03. Two hours left. I don’t want to do this. _

He fixed his ‘bed’ head in the mirror and went to get dressed. 

He went into his bedroom grabbing out a charcoal grey sweater and a pair of light washed jeans, throwing them on.  _ I want to go but I still feel like shit, both from drinking and from last night. Wish I could just forget it.  _

But he pulled himself through the door and out to the car, starting it but keeping his hands anywhere but on the steering wheel. Eventually though, he forced himself to drive. He forced himself to be the bigger person. Remus drove for forty five minutes, finally pulling onto the brick road that held the shop.

The door jingled as Remus opened it, spotting Sirius sitting at the table near the window that they had sat a month ago. Sirius looked up at him, his eyes dark. He had a mug in his hand, and one in the spot in front of him. Remus sat down without saying a word, looking into the mug. 

“I uh- got you chai, I thought you would be okay with that.” He sounded as though he was on the verge of tears.

“Erm, thanks. Now, explain yourself.”

Sirius swallowed hard, “It was never about getting back at my mother, I mean that's what pushed me over the edge but I-” He took a deep breath, “I guess everything in my life was falling to pieces so I might as well make another impulsive decision. Bloody fuckin’ hell Remus, I-” Remus kept his head down, not being able to look him in the eye. “I’ve never felt like this, wanting to just be around someone as much as I want to be around you.” Remus looked up slightly, meeting Sirius’ eyes. 

“Do you want to come back to mine?” Remus finally said, he didn’t realize he had been holding his breath.

The two got into the car, Sirius still seemed so small. “I know you still probably aren’t ready to forgive me yet but just know, this was never about my homophobic mother, it was never something I was doing out of spite, It was because I couldn’t hold back the floodgates anymore.” Remus briefly looked at him and then back onto the road, but Sirius couldn’t discern his emotions. 

“Sirius, it's fine. We can talk more about this when we get home.” Sirius looked away, dejected and nodded slightly.

They drove in silence for most of the way back, up until they parked the car.

“I know you don’t need me asking but, are you mad?” Sirius asked, taking a glance over at Remus, who was absentmindedly white knuckling the wheel. 

“No, I wouldn’t say mad, maybe a little frustrated, but not mad.” Sirius worried his bottom lip.

Remus was the first out of the car, waiting for Sirius to get out after him. No words were shared as he unlocked his apartment door. Remus slammed the door behind him, making Sirius jump slightly. 

“Tell me why I should forgive you.” Remus looked to his side, not wanting to look Sirius’ in the eyes. 

“You shouldn’t! I was an arse, okay? I fuck up everything and I just want to- to not fuck this up. For the love of fucking god!” Sirius’ eyes stung. 

Remus flinched at the sound of Sirius’ voice raising, his eyes began to pool, mirroring the boy in front of him. 

“Remus-?”

“I- Just promise me, promise me that you’re not just going to hurt me. There- are  _ so  _ many things wrong with me, just- don’t hurt me, please.” Remus’ breath heaved, he let out a loud sob. Sirius took a step towards Remus and the crying boy collapsed into his arms. 

“Hey, it’s ok. I’m here, I’ve got you.” Remus’ chest heaved as he fisted Sirius’ sweater. Sirius ran his hand through his Remus’ hair as he mumbled. 

“I’m s- sorry, I’m sorry, just p- please, please don’t hurt me.” Remus babbled through sobs. 

“Re, I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe.” Sirius just sat on the floor of the apartment, holding Remus and rubbing circles on his back.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. It’s going to be okay.” Sirius whispered into his hair, leaning down slightly to kiss his temple. 

“Can I do anything, make a coffee?” Remus loosened his grip slightly on Sirius’ sweater, nodding softly. Sirius gently moved Remus off of his lap, taking his hands in his as he stood up. The two walked over to the kitchen counter. 

“Okay Moony, I’m gonna make a pot and we can watch a movie or show, hows that sound?” Sirius said, grabbing the coffee grounds off the counter. Remus hummed in response, fiddling with his sweater sleeve. Sirius put the grounds and filter into the coffee machine, then turned to look at Remus. 

“How are you feeling?” Sirius questioned, lacing his hand with Remus’.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? Of course not. But that's not what I asked.” Sirius chuckled slightly, taking his other hand to fiddle with Remus’ hair. 

“I think better.” Remus confessed, momentarily glanced from his hand to Sirius’ lips. Sirius cupped the other boy’s jaw softly, tilting his head up slightly. 

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” Sirius whispered. Remus nodded, closing the gap between them. Sirius put his hands under Remus’ legs and lifted him up, carrying him over to the couch. Sirius let Remus down onto the couch with a soft thud, sitting down next to him. 

“Wanna watch anything?” Sirius asked, kissing Remus’ forehead. Remus shrugged and snuggled in closer to Sirius. Sirius switched on the TV and turned on a documentary about a pair of penguins and looked down to check on Remus whose breathing had slowed a bit. He brushed back Remus’ hair off his forehead to check if he was still awake. His eyes were closed. Sirius smiled to himself, turning the program off. 

He wrapped his arm around Remus and eventually fell asleep.

Sirius was first to wake later that evening, glancing over at the clock to check the time.

7:32 pm. He let his head hit the arm of the couch, feeling an abnormal weight on his chest. He looked down to see Remus, one hand under his head, the other in the space between Sirius’ back and the couch. Their legs were intertwined together. Sirius tried not to move as best he could, but jumped when Remus accidentally jammed his elbow into his side. Remus was jolted awake and raised his head, eyes still closed, mumbling something. 

“Sorry, sorry. Go back to sleep, sorry.” Sirius threaded his fingers through Remus’ hair, Remus let his head fall back on to Sirius’ chest. Sirius messed with Remus’ hair for a few seconds before setting his hand down just above the boy’s head. 

Remus grumbled and reached up accidentally bumping Sirius’ chin with his hand. He stopped for a second, thinking before grabbing Sirius’ face and squeezing his cheeks. Sirius pulled his hand off his face and laughed airily. Remus looked up, eyes still tired but a sly smile on his face. They locked eyes for a few seconds, Sirius bringing Remus’ hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles. Remus’ eyes opened immediately, keeping them locked on Sirius.

Sirius kept this up for a while, kissing every open space on Remus’ hand and wrist, eventually making his way up Remus’ arm before he was shoed away.

“Thanks for that Pads. What time is it?” Remus snagged his hand back and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“About seven fifty. Why, you have some hot date you need to get to?” Sirius teased.

Remus thought about his answer before speaking. 

“Unless you’re asking me out then no.” It was Sirius’ turn to blush.

“So uh-about earlier,” Sirius rapidly changed the subject. Remus deflated a little.

“I really am sorry, didn’t mean to freak you out.” Remus averted his eyes. Sirius scooped his face back, making Remus look at him.

“I need to make sure you’re okay.” Remus nodded hesitantly. Sirius sighed, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind Remus’ ear.

“Can you tell me that you’re okay? You aren’t very convincing if you're not talking.” Sirius smiled warmly.

Remus looked away again. He wasn’t ok. He’d never be ok. But Sirius didn’t and couldn’t know what used to happen. He wanted to pretend none of it happened. But he had the battle scars to remind him.

“Re? Talk to me, what’s happening.” Sirius worried for Remus. That never happened in his last relationship. He never had anyone care for him the way Sirius does. He was so afraid this was just a show. That this was something that would change to hostility within minutes. But the look in Sirius’ eyes said otherwise. 

The look he was giving Remus had no trace of anything except love. Love and worry. Sirius had absolutely no idea what was happening, but he had no plan of leaving. He would stay even if it killed him.

“Moony, look at me.” Remus forced himself to look up, tears threatening to come out.

“Tell me what’s going on.” Sirius asked gently.

“Nothing. I’m fine, really.” Remus said softly. Sirius raised his eyebrow, not fully believing him.

“I’m serious! It’s nothing, I’m fine, drop it.” Remus said, voice wavering slightly. Taken aback by the sudden change in tone, but unable to find the right words, Sirius decided to drop the subject.

“Okay, okay.” Sirius whispered, trying to bring Remus down from the anger building.

“How about we get dinner, yeah?” Remus’ face softened,

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve eaten today.” Remus confessed.

“You wanna get McDonald's or something? I know we can’t necessarily be close while we’re eating but -” Remus cut Sirius off,

“Sounds lovely.” Sirius pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ lips before they got ready to go out. Sirius grabbed Remus’ keys off the counter and headed toward the door. “I’ll drive, you still seem a little groggy babe.” Remus flushed slightly at the pet name then followed the other boy out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here this is what you want, we providing for the people.  
> have a little nsfw, as a treat.  
> also beware there is flashback of abuse... yaaaayy

They had won another game, leading them to be undefeated. June was approaching fast and the first part of the season would end. Another team dinner, and another excuse for Remus to drive Sirius home. Both of them stayed silent most of the way back, except for the occasional sighting of a ridiculous billboard in which one of the two of them would point and laugh. 

Finally they pulled back into the driveway, getting out. There was a strange tension in the air that neither of the two could put into words but only be described as want. 

They both walked inside, Remus following Sirius, to go sit on the couch. Remus fiddled with the hem of his shirt. Sirius flipped the TV on, trying to settle whatever he was feeling. Remus could feel Sirius looking at him every now and then, shifting in his seat. Remus grew antsy, squirming around, moving his legs, readjusting his arms, doing anything but staying still. He eventually got fed up and swung his leg over Sirius’ lap, pushing him back against the corner of the couch as he did so. A flash of doubt passed over Remus as he looked down at Sirius.

“Is this okay?” Remus asked, easing up on pushing Sirius against the couch. Sirius pulled Remus closer by his belt loops. 

“Stop talking and kiss me,” Remus gladly obliged, leaning down meeting Sirius’ lips in a hot, hard kiss. Sirius tried as hard as he could to keep his hands to himself, but gave in when Remus tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss. His hands went straight to Remus’ lower back, dipping his hands underneath his shirt. The cold touch sent a chill down Remus’ spine, making him gasp, but he didn’t pull away. 

Sirius pulled away, moving to Remus’ jaw, kissing the soft skin. Remus moved his head so Sirius had more room, giving him access to his neck. Remus sighed and threaded his fingers through Sirius’ dark hair, tugging a little when Sirius bit down gently. 

“This okay?” Sirius asked, pressing kisses into the sensitive skin. Remus ran his hands over Sirius’ neck and cupped his face, bringing him back in for another kiss.

“Perfect.” Sirius smiled and leaned back in to kiss the other boy, running his hands over the skin of his back. Remus was next to pull away, returning the favor to Sirius and going to bite his earlobe. Sirius moved his hands to the hem of Remus’ shirt.

“Off.” Sirius mumbled, pulling down slightly on the back of the other boy’s shirt. Remus smiled and put his hands over his head. Sirius’ heart was racing as he pulled the shirt over his head, tossing it across the room to deal with later. 

Sirius just sat there, admiring the boy before him. He brushed his hands over his chest and down his stomach to settle back on his hips. 

“Gorgeous,” Sirius mumbled, pulling Remus back down to kiss him again, pushing his hips down softly. Sirius froze momentarily after feeling a faint buzzing from his pocket, but paid no mind to it and settled back in, but the noise didn’t stop. Sirius tried to ignore it, but ultimately couldn’t.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, one second.” Sirius mumbled, grabbing his phone out of his back pocket. Remus eased away, sitting back on his knees so he could give Sirius some space, still having his legs on either side of him. 

“Hello, Mum.” Remus’ stomach dropped for a second, he didn’t want Sirius to hurt. He couldn’t even think what she could be calling about, Sirius wasn’t in the press today. 

“What-? Oh my god.” Sirius’ eyes were suddenly wide and dark, “Okay, okay, I’ll be there in a bit. Yes I’ll take the next train. Okay, bye.” Sirius dropped his head, briefly glancing up at the other boy. 

“My brother uh- he shattered his leg. Mum wants me to stay with them for a fucking week to help take care of him. I’m so sorry.” Remus moved his hand up, gently taking Sirius’ cheek, 

“Hey, baby it’s alright.” Sirius laughed wetly,

“You’re not making this any easier.” Remus slid his hand to Sirius’ shoulder, rubbing his thumb over it.

“Go take care of your brother. We can still call and text.” Sirius cleared his throat, clenching his jaw.

“Okay.” Sirius said, just above a whisper. Remus pulled Sirius in for a soft kiss, then slid off of the couch. 

“I’ll drive you to the train station.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand, and walked over to the door. 

It had been two days, two days apart. Remus’ heart felt heavy. He missed being around Sirius, he missed being able to look at his face. A buzz ran through Remus’ pocket.

I miss you 

Remus smiled down at his phone, a sad smile spread across his face.

I miss you too, are you able to call?

Yeah, parents aren’t in and Reg is upstairs

“Hi Pads.” 

“Hi.” Sirius responded sweetly.

“How’s Regulus doing?” Remus asked, fidgeting with his fingers. 

“He’s holding up, he’s hopped up on drugs. Probably won’t be able to play for the rest of the season at school.” Sirius responded, sighing slightly.

“And how are you doing?” Remus asked, holding his breath.

“Not- great. I don’t know. My parents are trying to get me to go on a date with some girl. But I obviously don’t want to.” Sirius let out a cold laugh, “Moony, I miss you. It’s only been a couple fucking days but… I just wish I could kiss you.” Remus swallowed hard,

“Me too, baby.” The two were silent for a second, just listening to each other's breathing. 

“Fuck, my parents just got here, goodbye Moons.” 

“Bye Pads.” Remus clicked off his phone, taking a deep, shaky breath. He couldn’t understand what he was feeling. He was in pain, missing Sirius, but it wasn’t the pain that he was used to feeling. It was a good pain, he wanted that pain. 

November of last year

Remus climbed the stairs to his dorm after football practice, hesitantly stopping before his door. He didn’t want to go in. As he opened the door, he came face to face with Fenrir. 

“Re, where the fuck were you?” Fenrir has a cross look on his face. 

“ I was just at practice, Coach said I might get drafted. The guys wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate.” Fenrir shot him a dirty look and shook his head. 

“I don’t smell alcohol on your breath. What, were you with another boy? Sleeping around?” Remus swallowed, attempting to compose himself. 

“No we went to a bar, I just didn’t have much to drink. I’m not sleeping around-” Remus was startled by a swift punch delivered to his jaw. He stumbled back, falling into his desk. 

“Fuck” he mumbled, attempting to stand but failing. 

He felt something wet pool on the side of his cheek, but couldn’t understand what was going on. 

“I told you you’re not allowed to see other boys!” Remus lifted his arms in front of his face, 

“I told you it was my teammates-“

Another blow was delivered to his stomach, bile rising up in his throat, but he pushed it down. His ears rang, rendering him unable to decipher what the other boy was saying. Another kick to his stomach, causing him to double in on himself, curling up on the floor. In a moment of clarity he heard one sentence, 

“That’s it, I’m leaving.” The door slammed, making Remus flinch again at the loud noise, tense for a second until there was no more sound except for the cars outside. 

Remus didn’t know how much time had passed before he finally got up, his head was pulsing. As Remus touched the side of his face he realized why. He looked at his shaking hand to see his fingers painted in red. 

“Fuck.” He mumbled, his breath quickening. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know who to call. Remus pushed himself up, struggling to stand on his feet, having to grab the desk behind him. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, trying to stay still enough to type in his passcode and after multiple tries he finally got in. Remus opened his contacts, finding the person he knew who could help.

“Hey, Re. What’s up?” 

“Lily? I need you.” Remus’ voice wavered, he was trying to stay awake.

“Re…? What’s going on?” Remus breathed deeply before speaking again.

“Bleeding… Dorm- I think I’m about to pass out.” Remus tightened his grip on the desk, trying not to fall over. 

“Um, okay. I’ll be there in five, try and sit down so if you pass out you won’t hurt yourself further. Alright?” He murmured in response as the room spun. Remus woke up on the floor to the sound of Lily entering his room. 

“Oh shit. Remus are you ok? What the hell happened?”

“Fenrir- please, please don’t tell him I said anything.” Tears pooled in Remus’ eyes as he spoke. Lily came to kneel by her friend, taking his hand,

“Don’t worry bud- Did he do this to you?” Remus looked down briefly,

“He thought I was cheating on him- I, I don’t know what to do. He’s- He’s done this before but- this is the farthest it’s gone. He can’t find out I’m telling you this, please.” Remus let out a soft sob.

“Remus, I’m not going to tell him, it’s alright. I think you need to go to the hospital.” Remus shook his head. “No, no, I can’t. He’s going to find out I told you-” Lily gripped Remus’ hand harder.

“I’ve got you. No one has to know.” Lily grabbed Remus’ other hand, slowly lifting the boy up off the ground. Lily made sure Remus was steady before pulling him into the elevator. 

“Do you know if he’s coming back tonight?” Lily asked, worry in her eyes.

“I don’t know, is it okay if I stay at yours tonight?” Remus’ voice was weak and filled with pain. Lily nodded.

Remus ended up having to get five stitches in his cheek, the doctors said it would leave a nasty scar. Around eleven pm, they finally arrived back at Lily’s house. Remus was tired but didn’t want to go to sleep. He was terrified of what might come. Lily helped Remus to the couch, getting an ice pack out of the freezer for his jaw. Remus turned on his phone to see one missed call and a message from Fenrir. 

You left a fucking mess in here. I’ll be gone tomorrow morning, come get your shit. 

Remus’ eyes threatened to prick with tears. 

“He wants me to get my shit tomorrow, is it okay if I stay here until I can get a place for myself?” Remus didn’t dare look at his friend, he couldn’t lose another person today. 

“Of course hun, you can sleep on the couch, okay? If you need anything my bedroom is down the hall, just give a holler. Love you bud.” Remus sat on the couch, his life was falling apart and he didn’t know what to do, then he got the email. 

How would you feel if you got drafted to the Lions as a rookie?

One day left until Sirius returned, and Remus was getting antsy at this point. He wanted Sirius, he needed him. But he didn’t want to bother him. But all he wanted to do was be with him. So he decided to distract himself by doing the most mundane of tasks. He went outside and took a walk that lasted maybe fifteen minutes. He cleaned the house, that took maybe 45 minutes. He opened the fridge to find he had little to nothing in it. So he went shopping, that took maybe an hour. He tried as hard as he could to not pick up his phone and send a text. He swore he tried, he knew he tried as hard as he possibly could. But all of his efforts fell through when he picked up his phone, opening it to the home screen. He tried to will his hand from typing but it was no use.

I miss you :(

He waited, feeling like his brain was about to explode.

I’ll be home tomorrow, then we can spend all the time you want together.

Remus smiled softly but still wanted more. 

I know,,, I’m just impatient 

I know baby, tomorrow <3

Remus sent back a heart and threw his phone onto the couch, grabbing the TV remote. He flipped through the channels, not seeing anything he wanted to watch. He spent most of the day being antsy and still trying to distract himself, flipping through endless amounts of TV channels until he felt his eyelids begin to droop. He looked over at the clock, four thirty. He let his head fall to the back of the couch and he closed his eyes muttering a strain of curses under his breath. He was so unbelievably bored, watching programs that were completely meaningless, and cleaning the house for the second time this week. All in a span of four hours. He looked over at the kitchen, crinkling up his nose in disgust. But he began to think, when was the last time he actually had any sort of food? Probably yesterday. Maybe. 

He sat and watched A Series of Unfortunate Events for the rest of the night, eventually carrying himself to his bed, throwing himself face down, crawling under the covers and falling asleep.

Tomorrow. I just have to wait until tomorrow.

He woke the next morning, having actually slept through the night for once. He got out of bed, brushed his teeth, and went directly to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. In which he added way too much cream and sugar, but it was drinkable. He went to the kitchen table, setting his drink down in front of him. He put his chin on the table, getting eye level with the cup. He narrowed his eyes at it for a few seconds before putting his forehead on the table, closing his eyes. He had no idea how much time had passed before he heard a few light taps on the door. He swung his head up, almost tipping the chair he was sitting in backwards. He jumped up and ran to the door, swinging it open. 

“Hey-” Remus pulled Sirius through the door, quickly shutting it behind the both of them. Remus yanked Sirius into a hard kiss. Sirius dropped his duffle and wrapped his arms around the other boy. 

“Well hello to you too.” Sirius said in between kisses. 

“I’m sorry, I just missed you- I missed this.” Remus dipped his head down, leaning it against the crook of Sirius’ neck.

“We’ve had this conversation, you don’t have to apologize.” He laughed. Remus cupped Sirius’ jaw, looking his face up and down. 

Remus’ eyes steadied on Sirius’. Sirius smiled and wrapped his arms loosely around Remus’ waist, clasping his hands together behind his back. 

“Hi,” Remus said, not having any other words he could think to say. Sirius laughed lightly.

“Hi there.” Sirius said, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the other boy's forehead. Remus leaned into the touch. Even though it had only been a week, he missed Sirius and the way he felt. 

He missed all of the small things, little kisses to his head and face, the mindless hand holding, all of it. 

“Missed you.” Remus shoved his face in the crook of Sirius’ neck, making Sirius laugh again, tightening his grip around Remus. 

“I know baby, I missed you too.” Remus’ face grew warm. Sirius began rubbing small circles on Remus’ back with his thumbs. 

They stood like that for a long time, just holding each other as much as they could before they let go. 

“How was the trip?” Remus asked.

“It was, fine? I don’t know.” Sirius responded, 

“Not to push but what exactly happened- to Reg?” Remus asked, testing the waters.  
“He’s in his eleventh year right? And he plays for the football team, well some arsehole kicked his leg a bit too hard causing him to slip and fuck up his leg.”

“Oh wow okay, is he alright?”

“I mean, he’s fine. Probably won’t play again ‘til next year but it is what it is.”

“And how are you?” Remus asked softly.

“Not great. I mean it was nice to get to spend time with my brother but my parents are fucking messes.”

“How so? I mean- you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Remus rushed out.

“Well, they invited some girl over for dinner trying to set us up. I mean obviously I wasn’t interested so y’know.”

“Oh.” Remus nodded slowly.

“I’m sorry, you know I like you a lot. No woman could ever replace you, dear” Sirius joked dramatically. Remus laughed embarrassedly. 

“Of course, how could I forget. Do they know about…” Us. Do they know about us?

“Um no, I’m worried they’d tell the press to be honest. Even if they did they wouldn’t see it as a real relationship, even though it is.” Remus blushed harder.

“Are we...Is this…” Remus asked hesitantly.

“Do you mean are you my boyfriend? If that's okay-” Remus pushed himself forward to kiss Sirius, wrapping his arms around his neck. Remus pulled back, scanning Sirius’ face eventually locking eyes.

“Yes, of course it's fine. Fuck, it’s perfect. You’re perfect.” He leaned back in again, pressing a soft, sweet kiss against Sirius’ lips. Remus kissed him again, harder this time. Sirius hummed with surprise until relaxing into it. Remus took a second to pull Sirius up, grabbing his thighs and walked him over to the couch. Remus set Sirius down onto the couch, then climbed on top of him.

“This feels familiar,” Remus said as they pulled away to take a breath. Sirius just nodded and dove straight for Remus’ neck. He let out a breath and leaned forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Sirius’ shoulders, fisting his shirt. 

“But this time, no interruptions.” He whispered. Remus’ head rushed, he couldn’t even begin to decipher what was about to happen, much less what was going on at that moment. He pushed himself impossibly closer as Sirius continued to kiss his neck. Remus let out a sharp gasp when Sirius bit down gently on the space between his neck and shoulder, pulling his shirt back a little. He lifted his hips up slightly, trying to get as close as possible.

“This okay?” Sirius asked, pulling back a little. Remus nodded, leaning back in. They kissed again, Remus leaning to the side to deepen it. Sirius bit Remus’ bottom lip and went to his ear to whisper.

“Maybe we should take this elsewhere.” Remus felt as if he was going to pass out, overwhelmed with too many feelings. He nodded and responded, his voice just above a whisper, 

“Please,” Remus stood up, holding Sirius. Sirius took this chance to begin kissing Remus’ neck, thoroughly distracting him. Remus made his way down the hall to his room, bumping into walls as he went. As they walked through the room he dropped Sirius onto the floor, kissing him hard on the lips. Remus took this opportunity to push Sirius to the bed, crawling on and throwing Sirius’ legs around his hips. 

Remus kissed Sirius’ neck, slowly moving down, placing a few dark hickeys along the way, causing Sirius to let out a quiet groan. Sirius wound his fingers through Remus’ hair, pulling gently. Remus closed his eyes and hummed lightly. Remus moved back up to kiss Sirius, framing his head with his hands. Sirius ran his hands over Remus’ back, sliding them under his shirt, setting his hands at the base of his neck pulling his nails down gently. Remus sat back on his knees, taking his own shirt off and throwing it behind him, leaning back down to kiss Sirius again. He ran his hands up the sides of Sirius’ torso, lifting his shirt up in the process. The broke the kiss quickly to shove Sirius’ shirt over his head, throwing it off the bed. Sirius pulled Remus back down, both of their breathing getting more rapid by the second. Remus moved back to kiss Sirius’ neck again, leaving another hickey behind. Sirius slipped his fingers just under the waistband of Remus’ jeans, tugging gently. Remus sat back again, taking Sirius’ pants off first and then his own, kicking them off and on to the floor. 

“Still alright?” Remus asked breathlessly.

“Yes.” Sirius said through a smile. Remus set his hands on Sirius’ hips, looking over his body. He moved down, pressing another kiss to Sirius's mouth. 

“What do you want me to do?’ Remus asked, kissing Sirius’ jaw. 

“Anything that feels good I guess. And-anything that involves you.” Remus pulled back and smiled.

“I think I can arrange that.” He leaned down and kissed Sirius again. Remus fidgeted with the waistband of Sirius’ boxers. Remus moved his hand down, cupping the other boy through his pants. Sirius’ breath hitched and he dropped his head against the pillow. Remus moved back up, kissing Sirius slow and dirty.   
“God youre such a fucking tease.” Sirius groaned. Remus just laughed in response, gripping Sirius’ hip tightly. He moved his hand back down, taking Sirius’ boxers off and throwing them across the room. Sirius choked out a laugh and grabbed Remus neck pulling him into another bruising kiss. 

“Okay baby, if you don’t like anything just tell me.” Remus said, kissing Sirius neck. Sirius nodded and Remus grabbed the other boy’s dick, moving his hand slowly.

“Okay, fuck.” Sirius’ head hit the pillows, his mouth falling open a little. Remus kept his eyes glued on Sirius’ face, thinking to himself he could get off on his facial expressions alone. 

“Fuck Remus, faster. Faster please,” Sirius breathed. Remus’ stomach flipped at the tone Sirius was using, his voice slightly higher than usual. Remus sped up his movements a little, listening to the soft sounds Sirius was making. Remus began to get uncomfortably hard in his boxers, so he began to touch himself, wiggling his boxers down. He closed his eyes, moving the hand on himself in time with the one on Sirius. After a few seconds, Sirius finally opened his eyes, looking to see what Remus was doing, since his grip had ever so slightly tightened around him. He reached down, grabbing Remus’ hand.

“Don’t. Here, let me.” Remus took his hand away and just looked at Sirius. That’s all he could do at this point, just look at the man he cared about- and loved- so much, as Sirius began to touch him, his hand soft but slightly calloused. Remus couldn’t avoid the punched out half breath that exited his body. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous, y’know that?” Remus said, pulling Sirius back in for a heated kiss, wrapping one hand around the two of them.

Remus groaned into the kiss, but didn’t pull away. 

The closer Sirius got, the faster his hand moved. Remus had his face buried into the crook of Sirius’ neck, kissing and every so often biting gently, the pleasure building as time went on. Sirius’ breathing became erratic the closer he got, until he thrust his hips up, his back arching and his eyes closing as he came. The sight of Sirius’ face and the way he pressed up against him, sent Remus over the edge. He shoved his face into Sirius’ neck, biting down roughly and bucking his hips up, basically fucking Sirius’ hand as he came down from the high.

“Fucking shit,” Remus collapsed onto Sirius’ chest. Sirius laughed lightly. Remus leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Sirius’ cheek. 

“How about I clean up, baby? Do you need anything? Water?” Sirius shook his head. 

“I’m okay Re, thank you.” He smiled dully. Remus rolled off the bed, coming back with a towel in hand, cleaning up the mess that they left behind. Remus tossed the towel onto the pile of clothes in the corner of the room and then climbed back onto the bed. Sirius took this opportunity to lay his head on Remus' chest, smiling into him. Remus wrapped his arms around the other boy, just focusing on the rise and fall of Sirius’ chest and he breathed. Remus looked down, seeing Sirius was struggling to stay awake. Remus leaned down pressing a soft kiss to his forehead then leaning down to grab the sheets and pulled them up over the both of them. Sirius soon was asleep in Remus’ arms, him following close after


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there do be smut and some tw for panic attacks

Remus woke up to light flooding through the gap in the curtains. As he stirred he smiled to himself, remembering the events of the night before. Sirius flicked his eyes open at Remus’ movement. 

“Hi.” He whispered, his voice cracking.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Remus apologized.    
“It’s okay baby.” Sirius said sweetly, wrapping his arms around Remus. 

“Can I make it up to you by cooking breakfast?” Sirius smiled,

“Sounds great.”

Remus sat up in his bed, the sheets sliding down to his hips. He slid off the bed, going to grab clothes from his dresser. 

“God, you have to do that right now.” Sirius groaned jokingly.

“I mean unless you want me to burn myself while cooking then yes.” Sirius let out a snort, climbing out of bed to hug Remus from behind. 

“Do you want some clean clothes?” Remus asked, sifting through the drawer. 

“Yes please.” Remus handed Sirius a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt. Sirius let go of the other boy, quickly getting dressed behind him. Remus slipped on a pair of boxers and a shirt, then reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

“Fuck, I need a shower.” he mumbled, dropping his hand back down. Sirius returned to wrapping around Remus’ back before he spoke,

‘“We can after breakfast.” Remus blushed, 

“ _ We,  _ like together?” Sirius let out a chuckle,

“Only if you want to.”

“Yes, yeah, mhm.” Remus croaked. Remus began to walk toward the door, Sirius letting go from behind him and following. 

“What kind of pancakes do you want?” Remus asked, pulling a pan out of a cupboard. 

“Plain is fine, love.” Remus reached up, grabbing the box of pancake mix from another cupboard, his shirt riding up in the process. 

“Okay, love.” Remus responded, turning slightly to kiss the other boy.

After they ate and cleaned up a little, the two decided to take a shower. Remus stepped in first, adjusting the water, leaning against the wall, flexing his arm and shoulder, making Sirius’ heart thump against his ribs. Sirius scanned over Remus’ body, mapping out each muscle individually. 

Remus glanced over his shoulder.

“Like something you see?” He smiled, making Sirius look away quickly, blushing furiously. Remus laughed and turned back to the shower. 

“Are you coming in or not. I can shower alone-” Sirius quickly stepped under the spray.

“No, I’m here.” Sirius leaned his face into Remus’ damp hair. Remus smiled and turned around to face the other boy. Surprisingly there was nothing sexual about the interaction. Every interaction they had was purely domestic. There was no tension, no want, just pure bliss. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist, leaning his head on Remus’ shoulder. Remus looked over to Sirius.

“Want me to wash your hair?” Sirius closed his eyes and nodded contently. 

“That means you have to let go, dear.” Sirius groaned and let Remus go, taking a step back. Remus grabbed his shoulders, shoving him under the warm stream of water, wetting his hair thoroughly. Sirius closed his eyes and swiped away his hair. Next thing he knew, Remus was threading his fingers through Sirius wet hair, massaging gently. Sirius settled his hands on the small of Remus back, pulling him closer. Remus worked the soap through Sirius’s mop of wet hair. Sirius playfully slid his hands down, squeezing Remus’ ass. Remus jumped a little and wacked Sirius’ shoulder. 

“ ‘scuse me, I am trying to do something here.” Sirius laughed, tilting his head back. He moved his head forwards and pressed a kiss to Remus’ lips pulling away first.

“Sorry, it just felt like the right moment.” Remus continued massaging Sirius’ head. Once finished, Remus tipped Sirius’ head back to rinse the soap out, running his hands gently through his hair, smoothing it out. 

Remus stepped out of the shower first, grabbing a towel to wrap loosely around his waist. Sirius stepped out after, grabbing a towel and drying his hair out best he could, before making a break for the bedroom, rummaging around Remus’ drawers, finding a pair of boxers and pulling them on.

“Please, help yourself. You want anything else?” Remus teased, dropping the towel and pulling on a pair of boxers himself. 

“Maybe a sweatshirt?” Sirius said, a little embarrassed. Remus nodded and smiled sweetly, turning to grab a dark green hoodie and tossing at Sirius. Sirius looked at the hoodie for a moment before slipping it over his head, pushing the sleeves up to bunch around his elbows. 

“God you’re fucking adorable.” Remus laughed, kissing Sirius’ cheek.

The two boys spent most of the day cuddling on the couch, kissing each other every now and then, watching The Great British Baking Show for most of the day, taking occasional breaks to go to the bathroom or get a drink or a snack. 

The day had gotten lost while watching TV, and they were fairly hungry so Remus decided to make a sort of penne ala vodka, which they both ate and very much enjoyed. 

“Thanks for dinner Re, you’re a better cook than I’ll ever be.”

“Thanks baby.” Remus said, smiling sweetly. 

Sirius leaned in, kissing Remus softly. Remus put his hands in Sirius' hair, deepening the kiss. Remus broke the kiss, moving his way to Sirius' jaw, biting lightly. 

“Gonna give me more hickies, eh?” 

“Are you complaining?” Remus asked, moving his way down the other boy's neck. 

“Definitely not.” Sirius laughed. Remus moved up back to Sirius’ mouth, kissing hard, grinding down. Sirius squirmed against him, Remus could feel a hard line begin to press against his leg. Remus took note of Sirius’ dimenor and opened his mouth to speak. 

“Do you want to?” He whispered.

“Yeah.” Sirius huffed out. Remus grabbed Sirius’ hand and began to walk toward his bedroom. Remus pulled him over to the bed, pushing him down gently. Once Sirius was laying down on the bed, Remus climbed on top of him, taking his hand in his as he pushed it against the bed. Remus pressed a kiss on the other boy’s lips, grinding down again, feeling himself become hard. 

“Fuck, Pads.” Remus breathed, moving down to suck on Sirius’ collarbone. Sirius breathed hard, letting out a soft moan. Remus felt his body heat up at the noises Sirius was making,  _ god he was beautiful.  _ Remus rut against him again, letting out a soft sound of his own.

“ _ Fuck _ , fuck Re.” Sirius huffed.

“What do you want- want me to do baby?” Remus asked, breathing hard. Sirius stayed silent for a second and then opened his mouth to speak.

“Shit- Fuck me.” Sirius paused for a moment holding his breath.

“Of course baby.” Remus said, cutting him off. Remus kissed Sirius hungerly, lifting the boys shirt off, and following suit with his own. He then turned to Sirius’ pants, thumbing his waistband. Remus kissed his hip, then slid the boy’s sweatpants down. Remus breathed hard, taking his own off before moving for a second to grab a bottle of lube and a condom, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. 

Remus came back and ripped open the foil wrapper, putting the condom on. 

“Okay, tell me if anything hurts and I can stop, love.” Remus huffed. Sirius Nodded in response. Remus grabbed Sirius’ leg and slung it over his shoulder, pressing down to give him a kiss before he did anything else. Remus leaned back a bit and looked at Sirius, who was staring back. Remus took one hand and smoothed it over Sirius' hip, taking the other hand and inserting a finger. Sirius breathed hard.

“You okay?” Remus asked, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, ’m good.” Remus pushes another finger in, moving them around to prevent any future pain. He scissored his fingers for a couple minutes, hitting one spot that made Sirius moan.

“You like that?” Remus teased, stopping the movement.

“You’re just perfect-” Sirius panted. Remus slowly pulled his fingers out, watching Sirius squirm before he pushed himself in. Sirius’ head fell against the pillow and he let out a breathy moan. 

“Fuck.” he mumbled. Remus moved up, pressing a kiss to Sirius' neck before beginning to rock, slowly. 

“Holy shit, Re.” Sirius muttered again, basically panting. Remus sped up, breath speeding up with him. Sirius reached a hand up wrapped it around Remus’ neck, pulling him down for a bruising kiss. Remus sped his pace and pulled a louder moan out of the other boy. 

“Jesus- fuck. Ah- Re-“ Sirius’ eyes rolled back, letting his mouth drop open. 

He slammed into Sirius, Sirius let out a choked moan. Remus continued to abuse that spot, pulling continuous sounds out of the boy.

“ _ Re- _ .” Sirius gasped, coming between them. Remus watched Sirius face,  _ he was beautiful _ . Remus felt himself fall apart, hitting a high of his own. His head fell forward as he worked them both down, cursing under breath. He came to stop, pulled out, gasping at his oversensitivity. He collapsed and into Sirius, pressing sloppy kisses to his mouth. 

“Fuck Pads, you’re perfect.” Remus sighed. Sirius was still breathing hard, a soft smile painted on his face.

“God, you’re amazing.” Sirius murmured, moving down into Remus’ arms. 

“Do you need anything baby? Are you feeling okay?” Remus asked, pushing Sirius' hair back from his sweaty forehead.

“Felt so good b’by.” Remus kissed Sirius’ forehead and went to get a towel. He walked back in and cleaned them up, settling back into the bed.

The two boys had a very fun night to say the least, so they passed out within minutes of each other, Sirius tucked into Remus’ side, holding him tightly. Needless to say, they slept well. Until morning, when Sirius woke up. He rolled over and grabbed his phone checking the notifications.

4 missed calls.

_ Shit. they’re all from mom.  _

Two voicemails.

Sirius rolled out of bed, walking out into the living room as to not wake the still dozing Remus. 

He listened to the first one.

“Sirius, I just stopped by your flat and you’re not there. We need to talk, get home.”

It ended, the second one scared him even more.

“I thought you should know I stopped by James’. Don’t lie to me Sirius. Not at home, not at James’, you better not be at that _boy Remus’._ I’ve known he was a _faggot_ since I laid my eyes on him, I will not have you hanging around those scum. Get. Home.” That was all he needed. He tried to keep calm while walking back into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on Remus’ side. Remus sighed and rolled over to face Sirius, his eyes still closed. 

“Baby, can you open your eyes?” Remus raised his eyebrows in an attempt to open his eyes. Sirius cupped the side of his face, stroking it gently. Remus smiled sleepily and opened his eyes a little.

“My mum called, I have to go home and deal with her for a little bit. I’ll be back in about an hour, okay?” Remus nodded and closed his eyes again, not totally listening to Sirius but getting the “I'll be back in an hour” bit. 

Three hours passed. Sirius still wasn’t back.  _ Where did he say he was going again? I think he said he was going to James’. Picking something up. They probably just got distracted and talked a little longer than they should.  _

Remus had just sat down, cup of coffee in hand when the door swung open. A very pestered Sirius walked through the door, his fists balled at his sides, his brow furrowed. 

“Hey, everything okay?” 

“Yeah! Everything is just fucking peachy!” Sirius threw his hands up in frustration. 

Remus took that as a threat and shrunk rapidly, throwing his hands in front of his face in defense as he balled himself up in the chair.

“Re- no, hey babe-” Sirius was cut off.

“Please don’t hurt me I’m sorry- just please just don’t hurt me-” Remus all but yelled. Sirius kneeled down, gently peeling Remus’ arms away from his face.

“If you’re going to hit me just make it quick.” Remus flinched, eyes wired shut. Sirius furrowed his brows in concern.

“Why the fuck- why would I do that?’

“I just- Fenrir-” Remus stuttered. Sirius' eyes went big.

“Baby, you’re safe, don’t worry. It’s just me, I’m not going to hurt you.”

Remus held the left side of his face, covering it protectively. Sirius felt his stomach drop. 

“Tell me what happened, please.” Sirius said, his face softening.

“Okay but promise me you won’t- promise me you won’t get mad.” Sirius nodded, staying quiet for Remus to continue.

“Okay well, back in uni before I got drafted I was dating a guy. His name was Fenrir, in the beginning he was really sweet and charming but the moment we moved into the same dorm… things got- ugly,” Remus swallowed hard, letting out a shaky breath.

“One night I got home from practice and drinks and he thought I was lying, that I was cheating on him. He- he hit me and I fell into my desk-” Remus felt tears running down his face. 

“I had to get five fucking stiches in the side of my face. The only reason I got to the hospital is because of Lily, I don’t know what would have happened-” Remus heaved, curling in on himself.

“Remus- I would  _ never _ do that.”

“You don’t know that, it could happen again, it will happen again,” He turned to stand up and began walking backwards towards the wall.

“Remus-”

“Please Sirius, please.” Remus let out another sob. Sirius rushed forward but Remus flinched hard again, slamming himself into the wall. Sirius moved forward, slower this time, taking Remus into his arms. Remus rocked, heaving with every breath, tears streaming down his cheeks. Sirius just held him tightly, whispering into his hair.

“You’re safe, shh. You’re safe.” Remus’ breathing was still heavy, but it slowed down a little. 

“Don’t let him get me, he’ll just hurt me again.” Sirius nodded cooing softly. He held Remus closer, rubbing his back gently. 

After a while of coaxing, Remus calmed down a bit, still breathing heavy, but it was more nerves than fear. Sirius pulled away a little to see if Remus was okay. Remus looked up, his eyes red and teary.

“You know I’d never hurt you. Never. Trust me, please.” Remus took a deep breath, cooling off a little bit. 

“I know. I know you’d never but since that happened I just-” Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’ forehead gently, as if telling him it was all going to be ok. 

“Okay, okay, I’m fine. Fenrir left after that night, haven't really seen him since. Lily might have I don’t know but she never told me.” 

“Oh, oh okay.” Sirius said inquisitively. Remus furrowed his eyebrows.

“Sirius no. I don’t know what you’re thinking but I know it’s not anything good.” Sirius smiled a little.

“I won’t, I won't- But I do think I should go back to my flat tonight, at least do my laundry.” Remus shook his head, still unsure that Sirius was just going to his flat. The two spent the rest of the day attached at the hip, Sirius trying to make Remus more comfortable while also planning what he would say to Fenrir.


	8. Chapter 8

Sirius drove to James’ getting out quickly and going to knock on the door. James opened the door. 

“Sirius? Your mum stopped by this morni-” Sirius interrupted him.

“Right, where's Lily? I have a few questions I need to ask.” James opened his eyes fully, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“I think she’s in the bathroom? Maybe in the bedroom? I don’t know, you can look but- but why?”

“Not enough time, talk later.” Sirius attempted to push past, but James blocked him.

“No, talk now, wha-” Sirius brushed him off, pushing past and making his way to their shared bedroom to find Lily, standing by the bed, checking her phone that was on the charger. James called after him.

“Where is he.” Sirius said, making Lily jump slightly 

“Sirius what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Fenrir. Where is he.”

“I mean I don’t know where he is right now, but I know he works at Dark Room night club.” Lily was thoroughly confused and frightened at the same time.

“Okay. ‘s all I need to know. Thanks.” He walked out, pushing past James again, gently moving him out of the way and walking out the door. 

“Sirius- What the fuck? Why do you-” Lily was cut off by Sirius.

“Remus told me. I know what happened.” He turned back to face her, fists still balled at his sides.

“I can’t let him just walk without getting any shit for what he did! Remus could barely even talk about it, he was having a full blown fucking panic attack, Lily!”

A smile broke across Lily’s face as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Be civil and don’t die, mostly go kick his ass.”

Sirius hopped on the next tube to downtown, anger boiling within him. He got off the train, heading straight towards the club in front of him. 

“Oi, Does a Fenrir work here?” He called at a bouncer standing outside.

“Yeah, he’s uh-inside I think.”

“Can I talk to him?” Sirius huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“For sure man, let me get him quick.” The bouncer called inside for Fenrir, who stepped outside a few minutes later, the other bouncer stepped aside. 

“Alright man, whats up?” Fenrir was slightly taller than Sirius, his dark hair fell into his eyes.

“Listen. I’m Remus‘ teammate. He _ just  _ fucking told me what happened last year. You piece of shit-” Sirius’ eyes were filled with rage.

“Yeah, what about it.” He said in an almost disgusted tone.

“You know I could file a report and have sent away for fucking years.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh don’t fucking give me that shit.” 

“Look man, what happened between me and him is not your business.” Fenrir threw his hands up in surrender. 

“Then you shouldn’t have fucking beat him to a bloody fucking pulp.”

“Hey Frankie, can you head inside for a few? It seems I have an issue I need to take care of.” Frankie flashed a big smile and nodded, dipping through the doors. 

“Okay listen you little bitch, I don’t care what you heard but that shit is between me and that fucker.” Fenrir puffed himself up as he talked, trying to seem more intimidating than he already was.

“What the hell man, I don’t wanna fight-” Sirius was cut off with a punch, pushing him back down the walk way. Sirius rushed forward, trying to tackle him but Fenrir was too strong, even for Sirius. He was thrown to the ground, receiving another punch to the right side of the face as he tried to get up, sending him back onto the concrete.

Sirius wasn’t about to give up that soon. Not after the shit Fenrir did. He stood back up, wiping some blood from under his nose, squaring his fists in front of his face. 

“You really don’t want to do this, kid.” Fenrir said, taking a step away from Sirius.

“You’re right, I don’t. But if this is how you’re gonna be then so be it.” Fenrir sighed, putting his fists up, ready to throw another punch. He swung a quick right hook in which Sirius dodged, hitting Fenrir in the stomach,  _ hard.  _ He stumbled back a little, holding his stomach.

“Fuck-what the hell!?” Fenrir yelled. Sirius smiled. Fenrir was furious. He threw a few more punches, which Sirius dodged, but what he didn’t see was Fenrir swinging his left foot out to sweep Sirius over. He hit the ground hard, his arm cushioning his fall a little. Fenrir came down.

“You done yet?” he said snarkily. Sirius struggled to get back up, collapsing back onto the ground. Fenrir got up, dusting off his knees and hands.

“Stay down. Stay the fuck down. And remember this if you try to do anything about it.” He left, not saying another word, returning back inside. Sirius pushed himself off the smooth concrete, touching the bruise forming around his eye and the blood beginning to run down his nose. 

Sirius went back on the tube, trying his best to try and not get blood on the train seats. Thankfully the car was close to empty, so he could go back without questions. He stopped at James and Lily’s, being too ashamed of himself to go back to Remus. 

“Hello- what the fuck man.” James said as he opened the door.

“I got in a fight, not important. Can I use your med kit?”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” James burst.

“No, but Remus is.” Sirius pushed past James, for the third time that day.

“I- fuck I owe Lily 20 pounds.”

“You bet on my sex life?” Sirius paused.

“Oh shut up, you just got fucking beat up.” James called after him.

“Fuck off Prongs. Oh hey Lily,” Lily was standing a few paces in front of Sirius. She stood there, her face somewhere between disappointment and fear. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. Dialing a number.

“Hey Re...Yep, so we found him. Might want to get over here, it looks kinda bad...Yep, yep no problem… right I’ll try.” She looked at Sirius briefly.

Thankfully, Sirius couldn’t hear the conversation, he had already made his way into the bathroom, trying to get the blood off. 

A few minutes later, Sirius heard tires screeching into the driveway and a car door slam.

He could hear the front door open and close, Remus’ voice ringing through.

“Where?” he asked in a gruff harsh tone.

Sirius heard heavy footsteps until he saw the shadows of Remus’ feet under the bathroom door.

“Sirius?”

“Uh-Occupied.” Sirius panicked.

“Sirius open the damn door.” Remus rattled the handle trying to open it.

Sirius unlocked the door, stepping back, letting Remus in.

Remus pushed the door open, automatically walking in and closing the door behind him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sirius’ gaze fell to the ground.

“Sirius-I told you not to go after him!” Sirius bit his lip in embarrassment. 

“How dumb-I just don’t need you getting hurt. Not like I did. I don’t need to lose you too.” Remus’ voice softened. Sirius looked up to meet Remus’ eyes.

“ ‘m sorry. I just thought-” Remus stopped him.

“I know. I know you wanted to make things right but this isn’t the way. I need you to stay safe.” Remus stepped forwards, caressing Sirius’ face, brushing over the bruise gently with his thumb.

Sirius melted into the touch. There was now just dried blood under his nose. Remus glanced over his face.

“Need some help there?” Remus asked, trying to lighten the mood. Sirius gave a weak smile and nodded. Remus grabbed a cotton pad and some hydrogen peroxide, dabbing gently at the dried blood under his nose.

“Thanks baby.” Sirius said softly, leaning his head against Remus’ shoulder. 

“Promise me you won’t do anything dumb again?” Remus asked, still dabbing gently.

“I’ll try.” Sirius laughed breathlessly.

“ _ Sirius. _ ” Remus hissed.

“What, I’m being completely honest-” Sirius let out another laugh, “but I will try, for you.” Remus smiled and thanked him, his smile quickly fading.

“But what made you think it was okay?” Remus asked, a hand on the boy’s cheek. 

“I don’t know, It’s just I-”  _ I love you _ “I care about you a lot. I only wanted to talk, to  _ confront him _ but he became violent.” Remus’ face softened, and he took Sirius' hand.  _ I love you _

“I care about you too. But that’s what he does… you have to be careful, love.” Remus leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips.

There were three sharp knocks, and James’ voice.

“Not to break anything up here, but you two need anything? Tea? Bandaids?” he lowered his voice a little before continuing.

“A condom?” 

“James no!” Remus yelled.

“Look- I will not be responsible if anyone gets an STI in my bathroom.” 

Lily’s voice rang out in the distance, quickly growing closer. “James Potter I swear to fuck-” 

Remus doubled over, laughing too hard to stand up. Remus opened the door, revealing Sirius leaning on one arm against the counter and him laughing his ass off.

On the other side of the door, stood a very afraid James, and Lily, reaching for his collar, frozen in place. 

“James, I would  _ never  _ have sex in your bathroom, and even if I did need a condom, I either would have asked Lily, or I would have brought one. Good job though,” Remus said after he stopped laughing. He patted James’ shoulder and shimmied past to pick up conversation with Lily, Sirius trailing behind.

“So, when Sirius came earlier, what exactly did he say?” Remus said, pulling her aside. 

“It was earlier in the day, but I know he was pissed. He scared the hell out of me, I was in the middle of checking my phone and he just-just walked in! Also, a bit of a personal question, but are you two, y’know…?” Lily pushed her tongue against her cheek. Remus’ eyes widened.

“Because if you are, James owes me twenty pounds.” She said shyly.

“Lily-I am not telling you that. But-James you actually do owe Lily twenty pounds.” Remus smiled, looking back at James whose jaw was basically on the floor.

“Oh-oh my god.” James said, looking between Remus and Sirius. 

“I thought that was a joke!” James said again, looking at Sirius.

Remus looked at Sirius, his eyes narrow.

“What did you do?” 

“I made a comment when I first got here-kind of outed us a little bit. Sorry.” He looked down, afraid that Remus would get mad.

“That's it? Wait, what did you say?” Remus’ face softened.

“I said, ‘Are you fucking serious right now?’ and then Sirius said, ‘no but Remus is’.” Remus chuckled a little, looking back to Sirius who was still looking at the floor.

“That’s fucking hysterical, nice job baby,” Remus kissed Sirius on the cheek, thoroughly fazing James.

“I fucking new it! You two spending so much time together, never answering my calls and shit! wait...” Sirius’ eyes widened, glued to the ground.

“Hey it was nice seeing you two but unfortunately we have to leave, like five minutes ago.” Remus said, grabbing Sirius’ hand and making a break for the door.

“...OH MY GOD!” James yelled.

“Bye you two! Call if you need anything.” Lily said smiling, waving as the two ran out the door.

Sirius let himself be dragged by Remus to the car, spinning the two of them around pressing Remus to the car, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Remus pulled away to look back at the open door, seeing James begin to flail as Lily shut it, laughing.

“I actually do need to do my laundry though, want to come back with me?” Sirius said, quickly realizing they were still in public, looking around to see if anyone was near.

Remus brushed past, a little too close to his ear and whispered.

“So my new nickname is laundry now is it?” Sirius’ face went red.

“I have to do actual-I need to wash the clothes though.” He panicked a little.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Remus said laughing as he got into the car.

Sirius slid in next to Remus, still a little frazzled at the comment.

“Baby, I was kidding. But…” He reached over and grabbed Sirius’ thigh tightly, at the same time, leaning in to press a kiss just behind his ear, biting his earlobe and tugging it a little. 

“Maybe I wasn’t. I’ll leave that up to you.” He turned back to the steering wheel, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

“But...I really do need to do laundry.” Remus kept his eyes on the road ahead.

“I know. Don’t worry,” He said with a smirk.


	9. Chapter 9

The drive back to Sirius’ was easy, roads were fairly empty, and they hit almost every green light they could before arriving at Sirius' flat. Sirius was the first one out, walking ahead of Remus, fumbling around his pockets for his keys.

Once to the door, Sirius was still trying to get the key into the deadbolt, putting it in all of the wrong ways. Out of nowhere, Remus got the sudden urge to grab Sirius’ hips and yank them backwards. But he held off, shoving his hands in his pockets to divert his brain. 

Once inside, Sirius began to actually start his laundry, throwing a load in and starting it up.

“Want anything? Drink? Food?” He took a few steps closer.

“Me?” He lunged forwards snaking his hands around Sirius’ body, grabbing his ass roughly, making Sirius gasp and rise up onto his toes. Sirius shoved Remus’ chest, pushing him away.

“Remus please, I just need to work for a little.” Sirius chuckled, walking off to check the load he’d put in the washer. 

“Hey Re?” Sirius shouted from the laundry room.

“Yeah?” Remus responded, looking in the doorway.

“Can you help me for a second? I just need you to grab these and throw them in the dryer please,” Sirius said, struggling as he moved the clothes. Remus nodded to himself and walked to the doorway, peeking inside to see Sirius tossing more clothes into the washing machine, a white basket full of wet clothes sat in front of the dryer.

Remus walked in, startling Sirius a little.

“Just me. These?” He said, pointing to the basket. Sirius nodded and smiled sweetly. 

Once all of the wet clothes were in the dryer, Remus walked over to Sirius.

“Hey baby.” Remus said, putting his hands on Sirius' waist. Sirius moved up, kissing Remus on the lips. 

“Hey, need something?” Sirius said, wrapping his arms around Remus’ neck.

Remus leaned down, nosing Sirius’ jaw, pressing a few soft kisses to his neck.

“Nope,” He popped the ‘P’, sliding his hands off of Sirius’ waist and wandering back out the door.

“I’m right out here if you need anything.” Remus said, Sirius catching his hand, yanking him back into a tight hug.

“Can you just like- hold me… I guess? My body hurts from being a dumbarse.” Sirius said wincing a bit as he laughed. 

“Of course, where all did you get hit?” 

“I kinda landed on my left arm and fucked it up a bit, I can move it but, y'know.” Remus gently took Sirius’ injured hand in his.

“We can Ace wrap it if you want, and get you an Advil, ‘s that sound?” Sirius smiled gently,

“Sounds great.” The two boys walked hand in hand out to the bathroom.

“So, where am I looking?” Sirius pointed with his uninjured hand.

“Linen closet… behind you Remus.” Remus spun around eying the door before opening it and searching for the med box.

“It’s right in front of you babe.” Sirius said with a giggle. Remus grabbed the blue plastic box and brought it over to the counter. He opened it and grabbed the Ace wrap right on top.

“Hand please.” Remus asked softly. Sirius held out his hand, a bruise was already forming around his wrist. Remus felt a pang of guilt as he began to wrap Sirius’ hand.

“Tell me if it's too tight, or if it hurts.” Remus’ tone shifted slightly. 

Sirius nodded as he watched Remus’ hands work a little bit too well.

“How are you so good at that?” Sirius asked, immediately regretting asking.

“I mean-since- I’ve had a bit of practice.” Remus said, a weak smile spreading across his face.

“I shouldn’t have even told you about him, this is all my fault. You getting hurt. Fuck ‘m so sorry.” Remus mumbled, a pant of guilt pooling in his stomach. 

Sirius sighed heavily, reaching out and grabbing Remus’ hand, pushing it to his chest where his heart is.

“Can you feel that? I’m still here. None of this is your fault, don’t blame yourself for something you can’t control. The only reason I got hurt was because I was dumb and thought I could just have a conversation. Okay?” Sirius said wholeheartedly. Remus nodded, still feeling horrible about the entire altercation.

“Look at me,” Sirius tipped Remus’ chin up to look at him.

“Okay?” Sirius whispered. Remus felt his eyes fill with tears. 

Remus tried to answer but no sound came out.

Sirius gave another weak smile, pulling Remus into a hug. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay, I’ve got you. Why don’t we go lay down, hm?” Sirius said in the crook of Remus’ neck. He felt him nod so he pulled away, Remus’ eyes were damp.

“C’mon,” He pulled Remus out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. Sirius pulled back the covers and layed down, patting his chest for Remus to climb in and lay with him. Remus did so, laying his head near the crook of Sirius' neck, but far away enough to still hear his heartbeat. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Remus asked. He felt Sirius nod.

“’m fine. Really, I just have a few scrapes and bruises. But I swear if I would have had just a few more swings I’m sure I could have-” Remus stopped him.

“He took me down, babe. Not so sure you could have done much more damage there.” He laughed lightly. They laid in silence for a little while, Sirius threading his fingers through Remus’ hair gently. 

“What if- I made you the hot chocolate my nanny used to make for me and Reg when we were kids?” Remus looked up at Sirius, his eyebrows raised.

“Sofia made this really good Mexican hot chocolate from scratch.” Remus smiled gently.

“Okay baby.” He whispered. The two got out of the bed, hand in hand and made their way to the kitchen. 

Sirius got out two mugs and set them on the counter, grabbing a saucepan and setting it on the stove. He went into the fridge and grabbed a jug of milk, setting it on the counter. He poured it into the saucepan, not needing to measure. As the milk was heating up he grabbed the other ingredients from the cupboards. Remus wrapped around Sirius’ back, pressing his nose into the nape of the other boy's neck.

“Hey there babe.” Sirius said, lifting Remus’ hand up to kiss his knuckles. 

“Do you want it with more chilli powder or less?” Sirius asked, inspecting the bottle.

“A little less please.” Remus mumbled into Sirius’ skin.

“Okay, love.” He responded, stirring the pot. 

Remus pressed a few small kisses to the back of Sirius’ neck while they were waiting.

“How’s this taste?” Sirius held out the spoon he’d been stirring the pot with for Remus to taste. Remus tasted it and closed his eyes, his chin resting gently on Sirius shoulder

“ ‘s it good?” Sirius asked, fully knowing the answer.

Remus nodded contently, humming in affirmation. 

“Can you grab the mugs?” Sirius asked, setting the spoon down and reaching around to ruffle Remus’ hair, getting him to let go.

He grabbed the mugs quickly, setting them down and attaching himself back to Sirius. 

Sirius laughed and somehow moved himself so he was facing Remus, wrapping his arms around his neck forgetting about his hurt arm for a moment, and wincing slightly.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked, softly, kissing Sirius’ cheek. 

“Yeah I just kinda forgot about my fucked up arm.” Sirius laughed. Remus grabbed Sirius’ wrapped hand gently and kissed his knuckles. 

“Okay you wanna drink the hot coco and maybe watch a movie?” Remus asked softly.

“What are you in the mood for?” Sirius responded, looking up at his boyfriend.

“Hmmm, how about an old cheesy horror movie?” Sirius took the mugs over, Remus still latched onto his back. They sat onto the couch, Remus against the armrest and Sirius in between his legs. Sirius picked up the remote and went onto Netflix, searching through the movies.

“American Werewolf in London?” Sirius asked, taking a sip of his drink.

“Sure Pads.” Remus pressed a kiss to the other boy's temple, then grabbing his mug off the coffee table.

The credits began to roll at the end of the movie. Sirius looked over at Remus whose head was slowly falling backwards to the back of the couch, his eyes struggling to stay open.

“Re, baby, why don’t we go to bed.” Remus’ head shot forwards, his eyes still sort of closed. 

“M’kay,” he said groggily. Sirius laughed lightly.

“You’re such a baby, c’mon.” Sirius stood up, stretching his arms over his head. Remus stood, throwing his arms sleepily over Sirius’ shoulders.

“Oh god, okay,” He reached back and hefted Remus’ legs up, giving him a sort of awkward piggyback ride. 

He carried Remus to the bedroom, dropping him on his back on the bed. Sirius brought the covers up and covered the boy, then climbed in next to him. 

The morning rolled around, light streaming through the windows. Sirius rolled over, shoving his face into the pillows. After a few minutes of laying there, trying to adjust to the light, he got up out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He flipped on the lights and splashed cold water on his face.

“Mm, Sirius?” Remus mumbled from the other room. Sirius walked out and stood in the doorframe. 

“Hey sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you Moons.” Remus stretched, then sat up in the bed, rubbing his eyes. 

“ S’fine, love.” 

“I was thinking about getting in the shower, if you wanted to join me.” Sirius said, yawning. Remus slid out of bed and walked over to the other boy, taking the opportunity to press and soft kiss to his lips. 

“Okay baby.” Remus reached down and grabbed Sirius’ non injured hand. The boy turned into the bathroom, starting the shower. He then went into the closet grabbing two towels. Behind him, Remus began to undress, throwing his clothes into the corner. Sirius turned around and blushed slightly, then turned back and checked the water temperature. Once it was sufficient to his liking, Sirius took his clothes off as well and attempted to remove the bandage wrapped around his wrist. 

“Here babe, let me help you.” Remus spoke, taking Sirius’ hand in his and slowly beginning to unwrap it. Sirius winced once he saw his wrist. Thankfully it wasn’t swollen but it did have a large, dark bruise on the joint. 

“Can you still move it, Sirius? Do we need to go to the doctor?-” Sirius took his good hand and set it on the other boy’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over the scar on the side of his face. 

“It’s okay Moony, It’s just bruised. I’m alright love.” Sirius then grabbed Remus’ hand and stepped under the warm spray of the shower head. 

After the shower, the two dried off and got dressed, Remus borrowed a shirt of Sirius’, wearing the trousers he had on the day before. Sirius got dressed himself and moved his way to the kitchen to put a kettle on the stove. 

“Do you want tea or coffee, Re?” Sirius asked, looking in the tea cupboard. 

“Do you have any earl grey?” Remus asked, leaning on the counter next to Sirius. 

“Yup.” Sirius said, popping the ‘P’. 

It was a fairly calm morning after that, tea drinking and talking.

“Maybe we should go somewhere today.” Sirius brought up.

“Like a date?” Remus asked, swirling the tea around in his mug. Sirius shrugged.

“I know we can’t go on a  _ date  _ date, but we can act like-” he puffed out his chest and lowered his voice comically low, “two manly straight man men going out for some food together as men friends,” Remus laughed at that.

“Yeah, where to?” And thus began the planning. They eventually found a little book shop that had a small cafe attached to it and decided on going there. 


	10. Chapter 10

It took everything Remus had in him to not grab Sirius’ hand while walking, but he managed. They got to the book shop, ordering an iced coffee for Sirius, and some sort of herbal tea for Remus. 

They wandered around for a while, brushing their hands together every once in a while walking down the aisles of books. Sirius eventually picked up some odd book, reading the fly leaf, skimming through the pages. Remus looked over his shoulder to check if Sirius had gone anywhere, finding him reading intently. Remus had noticed recently, that when Sirius was concentrated he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and scrunched up his nose a little, which he thought was absolutely the cutest thing he’d ever seen. He smiled to himself before going back to the books in front of him.

Maybe an hour passed before the two of them left. Remus could barely hold himself back. 

He saw an alleyway coming up in front of them, taking Sirius’ wrist and pulling him into the dark secluded space, pressing him against the wall and kissing him soundly. Sirius’ hands went straight to Remus’ sides, holding him close.

Remus pulled away first.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” he said, his eyes dipping to Sirius’ neck and back to his eyes. Sirius felt his stomach flip.

“It’s fine, now shut up and kiss me,” Remus smiled and leaned back down, kissing Sirius rough but still fairly carefully. 

Sirius tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss, making Remus go absolutely crazy. Remus had one hand on the side of Sirius’ neck and the other on his hip, threaded through the belt loop of his pants, pulling him impossibly closer.

Remus pulled away, to attack Sirius’ neck, making him gasp at the quick switch. 

“Wait, Remus wait,” Remus pulled away quickly, worried he’d done something wrong.

“Let's go home. I don’t want anybody catching you giving me hickeys in an alleyway.” Sirius said, running his hands over Remus’ back. 

Remus smiled, leaning back in for one more long kiss.

“Ok, come on, don’t want anyone catching us,” Remus stepped back letting Sirius step out first, leading the way to the car. Remus physically could not keep his hands off of Sirius the entire drive back, he always had one hand on the wheel and one on Sirius’ leg. 

Remus pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car, looking over at Sirius who was staring at Remus intently. Sirius began to lean over but was stopped by a firm hand on his chest. 

“Wait until we get inside. We don’t need anyone taking pictures of us.” 

“Okay mister, ‘let’s make out in an alleyway’.” Sirius laughed.

“Fair point, but get inside.” Remus said, stepping out of the car. Sirius got out quickly after, moving quickly to unlock his door. Once the door was opened and the two were inside, Sirius was being pushed up against it, Remus kissing him hard. 

Sirius slid his hands under Remus’ shirt, running his hands over his back, making him shiver at the cold touch. 

Remus pulled Sirius off the door, not breaking the kiss and slowly guiding the two of them to the couch, bumping into chairs and such along the way. Remus spun the two of them around so he was walking backwards to the couch, pushing Sirius down. He reached and pulled Sirius back in to kiss him again. Remus gasped as Sirius moved closer against him, a hot line in his jeans. Remus pulled Sirius down closer, putting his hands on Sirius’ ass. Remus broke the kiss, moving to Sirius’ neck, sucking hard. Sirius let out a choked moan and moved his hand down to cup himself through his jeans.

“Fuck Remus,” His hands gripped the couch. Remus smiled but didn’t stop.

“You’re gorgeous,” Sirius moved back in to press a bruising kiss to Remus’ lips, which Remus kindly accepted. He accidentally slipped his hips down, readjusting his legs. Sirius let out a noise and pulled back with his eyes closed. 

“Do that again,” Sirius rushed out making Remus smile a bit at how desperate he sounded.

“You really want this huh.” Remus said grinding his hips down. Sirius groaned and let his head fall back, his hands going straight to Remus’ hips, gripping them tightly. Remus ground down again, using more pressure just to tease Sirius more. 

“Good lord, baby please. ” He begged. Remus chuckled listening to Sirius beneath him. 

“Pads, I have an idea,” Remus said, slowing his movements. 

“Hmm?” Sirius hummed breathlessly.

Remus gently took Sirius’ chin in his hand and bent over, nibbling at his ear lobe.

“Let me ride you?” He asked, biting his neck gently. 

Sirius pulled in a breath quickly.

“Yes please, I would love that, Remus I want it, please.” He babbled, his brain was already so fucked out Remus didn’t quite know what to do. 

More sentences flowed out of Sirius' mouth, mostly unintelligible, and mostly begging. Remus was definitely not complaining at hearing Sirius Black beg. He stepped off of Sirius’ legs and asked while slipping his shoes off, “bed or couch,” Sirius looked around for a second, gaining more coherence. 

“Bed, now.” He stood up quickly, almost knocking himself over. Remus giggled and took a step forward, leaning into Sirius, reaching up and placing a kiss to his lips. Remus grabbed Sirius' hand and pulled him into his bedroom, spinning them around so Sirius hit the bed first, laying on his back. He gazed over at Remus who was closing the door, just for good measure. 

“You don’t need to do anything. I will take care of it all, so just sit back and relax.” Remus said as he slipped his shirt over his head, tossing it to some odd corner in the room. Sirius had seen Remus naked, but it still made his pulse flutter. Remus had just taken his pants off, leaving him in just his underwear. Sirius reached for his pants but Remus stopped him, “Like I said, I will take care of it all. You leave that to me.” Remus made his way over to the bed, sliding in between Sirius’ legs. 

Remus leaned down, keeping eye contact with Sirius. He grabbed the zipper of his dark blue jeans, pulling it down and using his hands to undo the button and pull them down. Sirius watched the entire thing, keeping his eyes trained on Remus. 

“So I’m assuming you liked the date?” Remus asked while taking off Sirius’ trousers. He laughed dryly but answered.

“Yes it was great, now I hate to rush you but could you please get on with it,” He reached and took Remus’s chin, pulling him back in for a kiss. Remus was first to pull away, moving his hands under the green sweatshirt sirius pulling it up and over his head. 

“Guess what I can do now that we aren’t on the field,” He nosed at the side of Sirius' neck making him tilt his head to give Remus more room. 

He hummed in what sounded like a questioning manner as Remus placed soft, open mouthed kisses to the side of his neck, traveling down towards his collar bone.

His teeth scraped at the soft skin against his neck, Sirius gasped.

Remus smiled at the surprised gasp but still asked just to make sure.

“Is it ok? Can I?” Sirius nodded frantically, and Remus went back to kissing and biting gently before picking a place to begin. 

He started with gentle kisses, and slowly working his way up to a full blown hickey. He sucked hard on the skin, nibbling at it while listening to the noises Sirius was making. 

God the  _ noises.  _ You’d think they would be low and all grumbly, and some were, but most of them were on the higher end. It was almost like Sirius was being touched for the very first time. He was gasping at the slightest amount of friction. He’d groan if Remus bit down a bit too hard, or when he ground down harshly. Remus could get off on that alone. 

Remus adjusted his hips so that they were right over Sirius’ and ground down hard. Sirius groaned in Remus’ ear, his hands gripped tightly on to his hips. Remus was having too much fun driving Sirius crazy so he decided to give him a little relief. He eased off of Sirius’ lap, reaching down to palm Sirius through his underwear making him let out a long low groan. 

“Feel good?” Remus asked, now becoming slowly uncomfortable in his boxers. But he didn’t mind as long as Sirius felt good. 

“Don’t stop,” Remus slipped his hand in without warning, wrapping his fingers around Sirius. Sirius let out a sharp breath. 

Remus began pumping his hand slowly,

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” Sirius groaned, thrusting his hips up to try and get more friction. Remus decided to tease Sirius a little and slip his hand out, gripping himself through his boxers, letting Sirius watch as his mouth fell open and his eyes shut. He could hear Sirius shift around a little, but he felt his eyes on him, staring intently. Remus brushed his thumb over the head, a moan punched out of his chest, almost making him double over. Sirius just watched him in awe, watching his face contort in all sorts of ways, all in pleasure.

“Remus, such a tease.” Sirius said, making Remus open his eyes, he looked Sirius dead in the eyes, pumping his hand hard. His mouth dropped open and his head tilted back in ecstasy.

“I’ll show you being a tease,” Remus rushes out, groaning through gritted teeth as he touched himself through his underwear.

“Off, take them off.” He ordered. 

“Not until you do, Moony _.”  _ Remus’ heart slammed against his ribs. 

“Then I guess we’re done here. I’ll just get off by myself.” Sirius sat up quickly.

“You don’t mean that,” Remus smiled slyly.

“I do. If you won’t take them off, then neither will I.”

He pushed Sirius back onto the bed, a hand planted firmly on his chest. 

Sirius sighed, “Fine.” He teases Remus a little by edging his underwear down just below his hip bones, a light dusting of hair peeking out. Remus had had enough so he reached over and yanked them down himself.

“Don’t touch. Not yet.” Remus said, running his hands over the tops of Sirius’ thighs. 

Remus stripped himself of his underwear, crawling back on to Sirius’ hips, leaning down to kiss him. There was a faint buzzing of a phone in the background but the two of them were so engrossed in each other they couldn’t care less. 

Remus pushed himself back, Sirius’ dick grinding against him. Sirius groaned, putting a palm flat against the side of Remus’ neck. 

“Hold on, you are not going in dry. I think I’d rather have a heart attack. Lemme grab something,” Remus pushed himself off of Sirius, walking over to grab a well used bottle of lube, walking back to the bed, getting back on top of Sirius, sitting on his knees. 

A smirk spread across Remus’ face as he came up with a plan. Remus flipped the cap open and squirted a little on his fingers.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Sirius said breathlessly. Remus smiles at that reaching around himself, slowly pressing a finger inside. It had been a while since he’d done anything like this, so it took him a little while to get used to the feeling. Once the discomfort gave way, Remus’ head fell forward as his finger pumped in and out slowly.

“So fucking pretty, honey.” Sirius said, reaching out to run his hands down Remus’ arms. 

_ Honey.  _

Feeling a burst of confidence, Remus slipped another finger in, scissoring them open, stretching himself out. A drawn out moan slid past his parted lips. With his free hand he reached over, gripping Sirius’ shoulder, holding his weight. Sirius wrapped his hand around Remus’ wrist, relishing in the sight before him. Remus, his head tipped forwards in pleasure, his fingers moving inside of him ever so gently. 

Suddenly Remus hit a spot inside of himself that made him moan loudly. 

“Do that again,” Sirius said, his grip tightening on Remus’ wrist.

“Who told you you were allowed to tell me what to do?” Remus laughed, unintentionally hitting that spot again, his elbow shaking. Sirius chuckled but stayed mostly quiet except for the occasional moan or comment on how pretty Remus looked. 

After a few more minutes of fingers working him open, Remus figured he was ready. 

He slid his fingers out, going straight to Sirius’ dick. He gasped and tipped his head back, beginning to beg Remus.

“Fuck, please Remus, please,” Remus slid himself up to position himself teasingly over Sirius. Sirius groaned straining hard to keep himself from grabbing Remus’ hips.

There was a sudden pang of nervousness that settled in Remus’ chest, and apparently on his face.

“Are you okay, love?” Sirius asked, gently placing his hands on Remus’ hips, holding him softly. Remus laughed nervously.

“I think now would be a good time to tell you I’ve never actually done this before.” He said, just above a whisper. Sirius smiled at him, running his hands up Remus’ sides to his face, bringing him down for a kiss.

“Let me help. It hurts a little at first, but it feels  _ so  _ good after. I promise.” Remus felt the head of Sirius’ dick under him. He was still nervous, but wanted this so bad. The hand Sirius wasn’t using held the small of Remus’ back.

“Ready? You think you can do it?” Sirius asked softly. Remus nodded slowly.

“Okay, sit back.” Sirius instructed. Remus sat back slowly, feeling each inch of Sirius push inside. It stung, and was fairly uncomfortable but he could take it. Maybe two inches left, Remus took a deep breath and sat fully down, groaning at how deep he was.

“So deep, holy shit.” His words began to slur together. 

“Think you can sta-start moving?” Sirius stuttered. Remus’ eyes closed, focusing on the intense stretch, throwing up a “Gimme a sec” hand gesture. The pain began to dull, giving way to a sensation Remus had never felt before. He wanted more. So he leaned over, not lifting off quite yet, planting his hands on Sirius’ shoulders, keeping himself steady.

Sirius’ hands held Remus’ waist, letting him know that it was okay. Remus pulled off slowly, but not all the way, and lowered himself back down, his eyes rolling back.

“Fuck- you’re always so beautiful.” Sirius rambled out, his grip on Remus’ waist tightening. Just to tease, Remus went even slower, pulling off, and sitting back down. Sirius groaned in frustration.

“Faster, please Moons,” Remus stopped fully.

“Your dick may be inside me, I’m making the calls baby.” He picked up his hips, slamming them back down.

“How’re you feeling, love?” Remus whispered, pushing back moans. Sirius on the other hand was just letting them all go, barely able to get words out.

“ _ Fuck- _ ‘m great,” he breathed.

Remus picked his hips up again, sitting hard.

Remus decided to be nice, and pick up a rhythm. He stopped momentarily, to roll his hips back and forth before continuing, trying out new ways of moving. He changed his angle, hitting the spot he hit earlier.

“Jesus fuck, holy shit,” the words came out slurred. He picked his hips up, sitting back down slowly trying to figure out where that spot was, finding it fairly quickly, focusing on hitting that spot every time he sat down. Soon enough, he was a moaning mess, head hung over and eyes closed. Sirius knew Remus was getting close by the way his hips sped up a bit, pushing himself closer and closer to the edge.

“Baby touch me,” Remus moaned. Sirius made an opened fist around Remus, letting him fuck himself over the edge.

.

Remus felt his body spasm as he came. The pleasure was blinding, he was sure this was the most intense orgasm he’d ever had, but Sirius kept working him through it, eventually sending him into overdrive, his body tensed and untensed, his arms just barely keeping him up. But Sirius didn’t stop moving his hand. Strains of curses left Remus’ mouth as Sirius worked him through the overstimulation. Remus hadn’t even realized his hips were still moving up and down, still nailing that spot so deep inside of him. He felt the pleasure build again.

“Sirius please-” Sirius flipped the two of them over, fucking Remus hard, his hand still moving. Sirius’ hips moved fast and hard, the sound of skin hitting skin filled the room, along with Remus and Sirius’ moans.

Sirius didn’t ease up at all, he just kept fucking him hard, fixing his angle, abusing the spot inside Remus. Remus’ eyes were fixed shut with the overwhelming amount of pleasure, it was so much. Almost,  _ too much.  _ Sirius’ hips began to stutter. He was just as close as Remus was.

Sirius took two more hard thrusts and came hard, leaning over Remus, his hair a sweaty mess, his head in the crook of Remus’ neck.

Remus was left suspended on the edge for a few moments before Sirius caught his breath easily looking down at Remus, his eyes a bright grey. He kept eye contact with Remus, and began to move his hand again.

“Fuck fuck fuck-” And he came again, his back arching against Sirius and his head thrown back. His body went limp against the bed as he slowly came down from the high. Sirius pulled his hand back, making Remus squirm a little at how sensitive he was. As he pulled back, he pulled out of Remus as well, watching Remus’ face the entire time, smiling to himself. Remus’ chest was still rising and falling heavily, “I think I could get used to this,” Sirius said, rubbing his hands soothingly up and down Remus’ thighs.

“Don’t even think about it babe, I am still perfectly capable of throwing you down on this bed, and fucking the life out of you. Maybe not right  _ now,  _ but I still can...maybe in a few minutes.” Sirius' breath caught in his throat as Remus sat up, coming right up to his face.

“I can still fuck you so hard you can’t walk love.” While talking, Remus trailed his hand up Sirius’ stomach and chest.

Sirius nodded and smiled

“That a promise?” Sirius pushed.

Remus smiled wide and let out a chuckle, nodding his head.

“But, I won’t do any of that right now. I think I need to sleep.” Sirius laughed and got up to grab things from the bathroom to clean the two of them up.

“Hey, get that cute ass back here.” Remus said, clearly staring.

Sirius wiggled his hips as he walked, turning swiftly around the corner, grabbing what he needed and came back. Laying on top of the other boy after cleaning them off and whispering terms of endearment into his skin.


	11. Chapter 11

Sirius woke up to the sound of something falling in the kitchen, sitting up right. He turned to his side to see Remus missing out of bed. The boy pushed the covers back and walked into the main area to see Remus awake and covered in flour. 

“Hey there Moony.” Sirius said, giving Remus a confused yet amused look. 

“Good morning, love. I, uh thought I could maybe make some scones, for breakfast.” Remus rambled. Sirius walked over, pressing against Remus’ back. 

“Sounds lovely.” Sirius said, pressing a soft kiss to Remus’ stubble covered cheek. 

“Don’t forget, we start practice tomorrow. I’m probably going to stay at mine tonight so I can get ready, but we have all day to spend until team dinner.” Remus said, brushing some of the flour off his hands. 

“It’s probably best,” Remus leaned closer to Sirius’ ear, “ _ don’t want you staying up all night. _ ” Sirius flushed, in retaliation he picked up the hand towel in the counter next to him and whipped Remus’ ass as he tried to walk away. Sirius let out snort as Remus turned around. 

“You are such a dick, Lupin.” Sirius laughed. Remus chuckled as well and pulled Sirius into a kiss, the oven beeping soon after for Remus to take the scones out. 

Remus left for dinner before Sirius, taking his car deeper into downtown to the restaurant the team was meeting at. He walked into the establishment, seeing most of his team sitting and laughing. 

“Oi! Moony, you ready for the season to start back up?” James called, taking a sip of beer as Remus sat down next to him. 

“Yeah totally, I think it’ll be good to get back into the routine.” Remus responded, looking over the paper menu set in front of him. James’ face dropped slightly, leaning in to whisper in his friend's ear. 

“Hey Re, you uh, I don’t know how to say this but, I can kinda see the hickey on your collar.” Remus’ eyes went wide in embarrassment as he shifted his shirt to cover the mark. 

Sirius arrived not too long after, taking an empty seat conveniently next to Remus.

Remus looked over, a brief wave of panic washing over him.

_ Hickey. Dead center of his neck. _

He elbowed James to get his attention. He looked over at Remus who leaned back a little to show the side of Sirius’ neck, the dark purple mark on display. James leaned over the table and yanked on the strings of his hoodie, tying them in front of his face.

“Yo James wh-Holy shit,” Jude said. The team looked at him. Jude looked around him.

“You all don't see this?” He gestured to Sirius. Remus’ heart stopped briefly.

The rest of the team looked at Sirius, some of them catching on right away but some needing a little assistance.

“No fucking way. No fucking way!” Jonathon exclaimed. The rest of the team burst into a stream of ‘damn, whose the lucky lady’ and ‘holy fuck cap got a girl before me?’ all but James were talking.

“James, you okay? You haven’t even started drinking yet,” Daniel said from across the table, a glass of dark colored liquid- presumably jack and coke, in his hand.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” He mumbled, reaching under the table and patting Remus’ knee reassuringly. 

“What’s her name?” Chris said, leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms. Sirius went pale. 

“I-I uh...I can’t say, sworn to secrecy.” He finally said. Chris raised his eyebrow.

“Do you know her name?” he asked.

“YES-yes I know-... _ her _ name.” Under the table, he nudged Remus’ leg with his own. Remus smiled but quickly hid it when he began to get looks.

“You in on it, Moons?” Charlie said slyly. Remus shook his head.

“No, I just think it’s funny.” Remus said, fiddling with the edge of the menu.

“You think my sex life is funny, Lupin?” Sirius teased.

“No, but James sure does,” Remembering events from a few nights ago.

James shot an elbow out to nail Remus in the side.

“I do not!” James said. Most of the team laughed but Chris looked at Remus and Sirius through squinted eyes. He brushed it off though and laughed along with the rest of the time.

“Since we’ve seen you last cap, you’ve gotten a lady friend, and had sex with her- I’m assuming here.” Jude said, leaning on the table.

“Yeah, right. I guess on all accounts.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. Lots of ‘daaaamn’ s and ‘atta boy’s ’ were being thrown around. The entire situation didn’t really sit right with Remus, but he didn’t want to say anything that would out the two of them, so he stayed silent. 

The rest of the night went fine, Remus was still a little uncomfortable, but Sirius seemed to be having a good time, with more attention from the team than he’d gotten in a while, he was fairly happy. But the fact that he had to hide that this mystery woman wasn’t a woman and was sitting right next to him was a little disheartening. But they both pushed through.

Once their shared time as a team came to an end, they all went their separate ways. Except for Sirius. He was “staying behind to make sure everyone gets out safe” when in reality he just wanted to stay behind and be with Remus.

Once James had made sure the two were okay, he too left. That left Remus, glass of dark red wine still in his hand, and Sirius alone. Sirius was first to speak.

“Are you mad?” He asked, not picking up his gaze from the table. Remus let out a breath.

“I wouldn’t call it mad. Maybe confused, but no, I’m not mad at you _ , _ Sirius. Something about tonight- it just didn’t feel right.” Remus set his glass down and pressed his fingers into his temples.

“What do you mean, ‘didn't feel right?’” Sirius asked, gaze floating up to Remus.

“I don’t- words… I just wish things could be different and- I don’t know. I just hate the idea of you having a girlfriend.” Remus babbled. 

“Hey Re,” Sirius whispered, “No one can replace you.” Sirius moved his head back, taking one last sip of his drink and stood up. 

“My Uber is here, but I’ll see you tomorrow at practice, Moony.” Sirius waved goodbye and walked out of the bar. 

The morning came around too soon. The season was starting back up, which meant awkward practices. Remus gathered his things, and headed out for practice. He stopped just short of the entrance and closed his eyes, breathing in the fresh morning air, before heading inside. 

Around half of the team was already in the locker room, some getting changed, some just standing around chatting. Remus set his bag down, reaching in to grab his cleats when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Sirius, face a little more red than usual.

“Hi?” Remus said, a little confused.

“Hi, can I talk to you? In private?” He whispered. Remus caught on and nodded.

“Yeah, lead the way.” Sirius turned on his heels walking quickly. He led Remus down the hall and into a sort of back room, yanking Remus in and shutting the door behind the two of them. 

He wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck and kissed him hard. Remus barely had time to think as his hands moved instinctively to Sirius’ hips. Sirius deepened the kiss, tilting his head to the right. The two boys were so engrossed in each other's touch, neither of them heard the door open.

“I thoug- oh my fucking god are you actually fucking kidding me? Can you two keep it in your fucking pants for three seconds?” A very exasperated looking James stood in the doorway, his head resting against the door frame. 

“Are you fucking serious?” He looked at Remus. Without thinking Remus responded. 

“James we’ve been over this.” Sirius hit Remus lightly in the chest. 

“ _ Remus!”  _ Sirius hissed. Remus bit back a smile. 

“Hide your boners somehow and get on the field, we all left like, five minutes ago.” 

“It hasn’t been that long.” Sirius said, pushing Remus backwards. 

“Uh… Yes it has. Put your dicks back in your pants and lets get a fucking move on eh?” 

“Okay, first of all, fuck you I’m the captain here,” He pointed to James then looked to Remus.

“Second off, fuck you but we can talk details later.” Remus’ cheeks heated up.

“Sirius, I swear to Jesus Christ himself,” James whisper yelled.

“James, you aren’t Christian, plus you haven’t been to church in like, ten years.” Sirius retorted.

“I’m catholic!” He gave up and stormed off, grumbling some sort of explicit phrase under his breath as he went.

“Catholicism is…” Remus began, but Sirius stopped him.

“I know. I know.” He rubbed Remus’ shoulder, before leaning up to give him one last kiss before rushing out the door.

Another travel game was coming up, one day until they headed out east. Remus sat on his couch, dialing Sirius’ number.

“Hey baby, do you want to go out for dinner tonight? Since we have to leave tomorrow morning I thought we could have some alone time since we’ll be eating with the guys the whole time.”

“Hi, Re. That sounds lovely.” Sirius replied, his voice soft.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up at six?”

“Where we going?”

“That’s a surprise, love.”

“Well alright then, see you later Moons.” Remus had the perfect place in mind. Even though it couldn’t be an outward date he decided to do the most romantic thing he could. Remus was going to take Sirius to a restaurant they used to go to when they would hang out without the rest of the team, before everything happened. 

Remus awaited anxiously to go and pick Sirius up, looking at the clock constantly.

2:30. 3:19. 4:46. 5:04. Thirty more minutes and he would go pick Sirius up. 

He waited impatiently, bouncing his leg, his arms resting on his thighs. He glanced at the clock once more.

5:28. Two minutes. He could cheat two minutes. He stood up, walking slowly to the door, taking extra time to grab his keys. He reached for the door handle, looking back at the clock.

5:29… He set his hand on the door handle, twisting it slowly.

Once the clock hit 5:30, he swung the door open, rushing out quickly to the car, getting in quickly and starting it up and pulling out of the driveway.

Remus continuously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. He pulled into the parking lot, texting Sirius that he was there. Sirius rushed out a few minutes later, almost running to the car. He slid in next to Remus, a gentle smile spread across his face.

“Hi,” Sirius said, still smiling. Remus returned the smile.

“Hi baby, you ready?” He said, trying to hide the bubbling excitement. Sirius nodded, fidgeting with the hem of the shirt he was wearing.

“Sooo, where are we going?” Sirius questioned as he sat in the car.

“That- is a surprise.” Remus responded. Sirius let out a sarcastic sigh and turned back to look at the road. Remus drove down the road for about ten minutes until he turned to Sirius at a red light. 

“Okay close your eyes, I don’t want you to find out before we get there.” Remus said. Sirius let out a laugh. 

“Yes sir.” 

Remus drove for another minute, then turning into a parking lot and pulling into a space. 

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” Remus said, tugging gently on Sirius' hands. 

“Is this-?”

“Hanson’s? Yes. I know we can’t necessarily be as close in public as we’d like so I thought I would do the most romantic thing I could. And since we used to come here before we started dating… well I thought it was cute.” Sirius smiled at the other boy. 

“I would kiss you right now if I could.” Sirius whispered, clutching Remus’ hand. Remus just smiled and moved his other hand to turn the car off. 

Before Remus could step out, Sirius started talking.

“Remus?” He looked back.

“I-...Thank you. For putting up with the banter a few nights back. And just with me in general.” He said sheepishly. 

“I adore putting up with you, baby. You don’t need to thank me for not being a dick,” He so badly wanted to just kiss Sirius, but he knew he couldn’t so he held back. 

“How about we go in, eh?” Sirius asked, stoking his thumb on the back of Remus’ hand. Remus nodded, opening the door. The two of them walked into the restaurant, trying to act as natural as possible. On occasion they would knock their knees together from under the table and make every excuse to graze their hands. 

“I’m sorry we can’t spend the night together, love.” Remus said as he started the car.

“Don’t worry about it baby, we’ll be staying together at the hotel tomorrow.” Sirius responded, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Hey, I had a great time tonight Pads.” Sirius smiled, blushing lightly. 

“Me too, Moons.”

Remus sat on the bed in their hotel room after dinner, the game was tomorrow and Remus was trying to relax as best he can. Playing the Snakes was going to be a tough game and he didn’t know if he was prepared. Sirius turned the bathroom light off and walked over to the bed, flopping next to the other boy. Remus turned to him, giving him a soft sweet kiss. Sirius pulled him closer, moving a hand to Remus’ hair. Sirius settled back down, laying his head on Remus’ chest. 

“Are you ready for the game tomorrow?” Sirius asked. Remus let out a sight,

“I think? We’ll find out.” 

“You’re gonna do great baby, I know it.” Sirius responded, playing with a strand of the other boy’s hair. Remus gave a soft smile, still looking a little nervous.

“Hey, lets get some sleep, okay?” Sirius said, pressing a kiss to Remus' forehead before settling back down. 

The next game was tough, and in the end- unfortunately the Lions lost 4-8. Once the team was off the field and in the lockers, all hell was breaking loose. 

“Fuck this, we should have had that game in the bag!” Jude yelled.

“Yes, but then again whoever the fuck it was nailed me in the leg with his fucking cleat and had me out for the rest of the game,” Jonathan said, looking down at his leg, which was still bleeding through the wrap he’d had on. 

“It was that bastard  _ Snape. _ I watched the gears grinding in his tiny bird brain and he just ran up and fucking kicked you! That was a dirty play and the refs know it. They know they’d get major shit for calling him on it though,” Will said, rifling through his duffel. 

James stood up from his crouch as he was untying his cleat, taking it off and throwing it over to his bag. “I’m with Nut on this one. Seriously, how can you not call that. That was dirty fucking playing! Literally, the entire stands knew it too.” The room then erupted in argument about how unfair the game was and how things could have gone better. Remus participated a little but didn’t even really feel like yelling. He felt like the loss was his fault, everyone did great but he couldn’t get over the idea that he was the reason for the downfall.

They were already down three points, and Remus was determined to get back on top of scoring, running the ball down the field, sweeping around player after player, until the ball was stolen from his feet, a swift kick from behind, through his legs and the ball was gone. He just stood there for a moment as Lucius Malfoy ran past, flashing a cocky smile and speeding towards the Lions goal, shooting the ball over Charlie’s head. 

But the moment of unrest passed as soon as it started, most of the players doing some sort of cool down, looking as defeated as ever. James was still mad though. You could see it in his face, his brows threaded together and his jaw set. The once soft and warm features of his face, cold and sharp. Remus hadn’t seen Sirius since the game ended though, which was a little worrying but he figured he was just talking with the press, so he went along with his after-game routine. Once his bag was packed he sat on a bench, putting his head in his hands massaging his temples.

Remus’ head was pounding, taking in all of the sounds of the room, until he heard Sirius. 

“James. I need to talk-  _ now _ .” Remus could hear the anger in his voice. He decided to sit and wait until Sirius came back, he didn’t want to just leave without him, after all they had another 45 minutes until the bus left. Minutes passed when Remus was knocked out of his trances with a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Remus, erm, can you come here for a second?” Remus’ stomach dropped as he looked at James. His eyes were bloodshot as though he had been crying and his brows were furrowed. Without saying a word, Remus followed James into one of the back halls. As James opened the door, he revealed a sobbing Sirius, crumpled onto the floor, Lily sitting next to him. 

“Prongs what-?” James opened his mouth to speak but words didn’t come out. Remus walked over to Sirius, kneeling in front of him.

“Sirius, baby, what happened?” Remus whispered, lightly touching Sirius’ hand. Sirius didn’t respond but just let out another sob. Remus turned to look at James through the tears threatening his eyes. 

“ ‘m so s’rry.” Sirius hiccuped. Remus cocked an eyebrow and brushed a strand of Sirius hair back.

“Sirius, why-” Remus now looked at James desperately, trying to understand the situation. 

“Moony, let's leave the room for a second alright?” Lily whispered, motioning for James to sit with Sirius.

As the door closed behind Remus he could feel his throat tightening. 

“Lily, what is going on?” Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and she sniffled before answering. 

“I don’t really know how to say this…” Lily started. Remus felt frustration build, he needed to know and now.

“Sirius went to do press as usual and they just kept asking like- ‘is it true your gay’ and all of that shite.” Remus’ face dropped.

“What the fuck- how would they-?” Lily looked at her shoes. 

“The sports networks were contacted by his mother, it was  _ breaking news _ . She was doing it as payback or  _ something _ . I don’t know Re, to be honest I’m afraid to leave him by himself, for his own safety.” Remus felt the tears running down his face and his chest tighten. He turned quickly and went back into the room where Sirius was, looking at him for a second before pulling him off the ground into a tight hug. Remus heard the sound of the door closing and then all he could hear was Sirius. 

“Baby- it’s okay, I’ve got you.”   
“Re,” Sirius heaved, “I don’t know what to do. What if she- what if she tells them about you too? Then you’re gonna leave.” 

“Sirius, I’m not going to leave.”

“I’m just going to make this worse for you-” Sirius babbled.

“Sirius, look at me. I’m going to stay with you, alright?”  _ I love you _ . “I’ll protect you, love.”

Sirius lifted his head slowly and leaned his forehead against the other boy’s, kissing him softly. The door opened slowly and Sirius returned to placing his head on Remus’ shoulder. The taller boy turned his head to look at who was standing at the door to see Chris, worry spread on his face.

“Erm hi, I’m sorry to bother you guys, but the bus is leaving soon and Coach told me to get you guys.” Chris spoke, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I’m sorry Oak, we’ll be there in a minute. Come on Sirius, let’s get on the bus.” Chris shot Remus one last glance of worry and Remus mouthed ‘he’ll be alright’ at the taller man. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there is s m u t in this chapter

Remus pulled Sirius to the back of the bus, sitting in the seat next to him. 

“Pads, do you just want to go back to the hotel? I can either pick up food for you or we can get delivery-” Sirius cut in and spoke with a quiet, hoarse, voice. 

“No, we can go to dinner with the guys.” 

“Sirius, no. You need to lay down. We can get take out.” Sirius pouted.

“No, Re. I don't want to ruin the game night tradition for you. Go without me, alright?” Remus agreed reluctantly as the bus came to a stop in front of the hotel. The guys got off, going to get changed before heading into the hotel lobby for dinner.

“Please text me if you need literally anything, got it?” Remus said, pulling a tee shirt over his head. Sirius nodded and pressed the side of his face into the pillow on the bed. As Remus went to walk out of the door he could hear audio playing from Sirius’ phone. 

_ ‘Sirius Black, Your mother has recently made statements about your sexuality, would you like to respond?’ ‘What is there to even say except she needs to stop saying things about my personal life that she knows nothing about.’ Sirius Black has been rumored to be gay multiple times but this is the first that the allegations have been brought on by a family member, he has refused to answer any questions regarding the situation as of yet. _

“Sirius,” Remus said, giving the other boy a kiss on the cheek, “It’s alright, just put the phone down.” Remus left the room and headed down stairs to meet the rest of the team, claiming Sirius felt ‘ill’ and wasn’t in the mood for eating at the moment. After Remus left the room Sirius scrolled down his Instagram feed, finding more and more videos about the so-called ‘allegations’. His eyes stung with tears and he gripped his other arm as the words he heard echoed in his mind. He continued to watch the videos, look at pictures, read comments. Of course there was support but he couldn’t stop thinking about all of the negativity. Most of all Sirius was upset with his own mother, and rightfully so.  _ What made her do this, and why now? _

Before Sirius could realize it, almost an hour had passed since Remus left, and he was re-entering the room. 

“Sirius, I’m back. I bought some of my leftovers if you want those or we could pick something else up.” Remus said, placing his food box on a side table. Sirius laid on the bed, tears running down the sides of his face. Remus sat next to him, running his hand up and down the shorter boy’s arm. 

“Pads.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill her.” Sirius mumbled. 

“Sirius.” Sirius paused for a moment, his breath hitching. 

“She could cost me my whole fucking career. I can’t fucking believe her.” Sirius said louder, his voice cracking. 

“ _ Sirius _ . Calm down.” Sirius sat up, not daring to look Remus in the eyes. 

“This is the last fucking straw I can’t fucking deal with this anymore- I don’t get it! I just- I don’t fucking get it.” Remus tensed up, his brain going into overdrive. 

“Stop! Stop, please.” Remus cried, wrapping his arms over his head. Sirius placed a hand on the other boy's shoulder but Remus tensed further under his touch, letting out a soft sob. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ Remus babbled, rocking lightly. 

“Love, I’m sorry, you’re safe.” Sirius felt the guilt building,  _ this was his fault _ . 

“I’m sorry, please-” Remus hitched. Sirius held Remus tighter, rubbing circles on his back.

“You’re safe, ‘m s’rry, ‘m s’rry. ’ve got you.” 

Sirius held Remus for what felt like forever, both of them quietly sobbing. 

“Sirius?” Remus whispered. Sirius looked at Remus’ face, brows furrowed. 

“Kiss me.” Sirius placed a gentle kiss on the other boy’s lips. Remus lent back on the bed, letting Sirius crawl on top of him. They kissed softly for a while, just wanting to be close to each other, then Sirius abruptly stopped. Sirius buried his face in Remus' neck and Remus could feel tears roll onto the column of his throat. Remus ran a hand through the other boy's hair, shushing him quietly. 

Remus woke up to find Sirius not in bed. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes but couldn’t see him. The room was unusually quiet. Remus grabbed his phone off the nightstand and looked at the notifications.

**_Lily - 4:27 am_ **

_ Hey I just wanted to let you know I drove Sirius home. I don’t really know what was going on, he didn’t tell me. He still seems really hurt about this whole situation but I told him I’d let you know to call him when you get home. _

Remus blinked at his phone for a couple minutes.  _ He must have fucked something up. He didn't even say goodbye. He’s going to leave him.  _ Remus dialed in Lily’s number, praying for her to be awake. 

“Hey Re.” Lily said, her voice was a mixture of sad and sweet.

“Lily what happened, he didn’t even tell me he was leaving I- He’s gonna leave me isn’t he.”

“Remus, you’re okay. I think he was just really distraught. Just call him this afternoon, I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“I love him, Lily- I-” Remus’ voice broke. 

“Hey love, you can come over later with James, I’ll make your favorite meal and we can watch some cheesy movies.”

“Okay I should get ready to leave so I’ll talk to you later. Bye Lils.” Remus hung up the phone and let out a shaky breath and pushed himself to go get dressed. He trudged on the bus, not daring to look anyone in the eyes. He sat at the back, his eyes beginning to tear up,  _ don’t you dare cry, especially in front of the guys. _ As soon as they began to move James snuck to sit next to Remus.

“Hey mate, I’m sorry that Sirius kinda just got up and left. He just kinda showed up at my room last night and we couldn’t understand what he was saying.” James grabbed Remus’ shoulder, 

“Tell me if he won't pick up your calls or anything and I can try and get a hold of him.” James got up and moved to his seat, giving Remus one last look. Remus took his phone out, realizing how shaky his hands were.  _ Why did he just have to leave? _

Remus dropped his bag in the doorway of his flat, pulling out his phone to attempt calling Sirius. He held the phone up to his ear and heard the ringing but it was quickly cut off by the voice mail.

“Sirius, I-” Remus took a breath, “I don’t know if I did something or you-” His voice cracked, “Or if you want out of this, just please, please tell me. I’m sorry.” He hung up and dropped to sit on the floor, this just felt like a replay from the past and Remus desperately wanted things to return to how they were. Remus sat against the door, mindlessly scratching his arm, unaware when it began to draw blood. Remus was only knocked out of his trance when his phone buzzed. He moved for it frantically hoping it was Sirius.

_ Hey Re, do you wanna come over for dinner still? _

Remus looked at the text for a minute.

_ I think i’m just going to stay home tonight, thanks though. _

Remus let his head drop against the door, now noticing the blood pricking on his skin. 

“Fuck.”

It had been three days since Remus arrived home, _since_ _Sirius left._ There was a home game today meaning Remus had to face the boy that he so deeply loved, and who probably didn’t love him back, _who definitely didn’t love him back._ He shoved food down his throat, even though he didn’t want to. Remus left for the pitch, dreading every second. He pulled into the parking lot and rested his head against the wheel, mentally preparing himself to step out of the car. As he walked in his heartbeat began to speed up but he tried to shake it off, just getting ready and going to sit alone until game time. He didn’t see Sirius until they got on the field. He couldn’t look Remus in the eyes and it felt as though his throat was being ripped out. After they won the game Remus went to go to the press, even though he despised it. 

“Lupin, how do you feel about your team's winning streak as a rookie?” Remus tried to answer questions but his mind kept wandering, until he saw him. Sirius was standing talking to the press with a girl on his arm. He could see his mouth moving as he talked to the reporters but as soon as he stopped the girl turned to press a chaste kiss against his lips. Remus’ heart clenched and he quickly excused himself and ran into the locker room. 

“Prongs? Fucking get out here.” Remus called, some of his teammates looking at him confused but he didn’t care. James came out of one of the side halls, hair wet from a recent shower.

“Moony, whats up?” James questioned. 

“Fuckin’- just follow me.” Remus started walking down where James had come from, going into an empty room. 

“I just saw Sirius kissing some girl at the press.” Remus hiccuped, his throat closing up and eyes tearing. 

“I- he- what?” James had a mixture of anger and confusion plastered on his face. 

“Can you just- fucking go get him and bring him here?  _ Please? _ ” Remus urged, the tears flowing now. James reluctantly agreed and left the room. Remus ran a hand through his hair, cursing himself for ever getting in this situation in the first place. 

James burst out into the locker room, yelling at anyone who would listen.

“Anyone seen Black?! Huh, is captain in here?!” James’ face was red with anger. His eyes flicked around landing on Sirius and the unnamed girl. 

“Sirius get over here, right now.” Sirius made his way over to his friend, the girl following close behind him. 

“Follow me, and lose the side chick.” James crossed his arms, tapping his foot. 

“What did I do, Prongs, huh? What the fuck?” Sirius snapped back, mirroring James’ stance. 

“You know what you fucking did, now get over here and explain yourself to Remus.” Sirius' face dropped slightly and he followed James quickly forgetting about the girl. 

“Sara, can you give me and my friend a minute?” Sirius said impatiently before entering the room. James let him in, subsequently left, and Sirius’ glance went straight to the outraged boy. 

“Sirius, what the actual fuck?” Remus fumed.

“Re, let me explain-” Sirius started, walking over to Remus.

“I loved you, y’know? And you leave me in the middle of the night, not responding to my calls, and next time I see you is with a girl? I thought that there was something here, and that this wasn’t just a game. Do you ever think about anything?” Remus was sobbing now, his voice hitching every other word. 

“Re, I never wanted to do this believe me-”

“Then why did you do it?!” Remus was almost screaming.

“Because I wanted to protect you! Okay? I- I love you.” 

“How the  _ fuck  _ is that supposed to help?” 

“My mum said if I didn’t start acting straight, taking girls out, she was going to release our text conversations… she found my phone in the locker room while I was at press the other week and took a picture of them- I- I would never want to hurt you, god, please Re.” Sirius felt as though he was struggling to stand, his legs shaking.

“Well, you say that, but you’re hurting me right now, Sirius. Prove to me you’re going to stay, prove you’re not going to pull this shit again.” 

Sirius was silent for a second before rushing forward, his lips crashing into Remus hard. Remus bunched Sirius’ shirt collar in his hands, tugging him closer. The kiss was rough and intense, neither of them knew where to put their hands, moving them frantically. Sirius settled his hands on Remus’ hips, pulling them harshly to meet his. They stood there for a few minutes, grabbing at each other, pulling one another closer before Sirius pulled away.

“Convinced?” he asked, a cocky smile spreading across his face. Remus pulled him back in hungerly, 

“Shut up.” he mumbled into the other boy’s mouth. Remus threaded his fingers through Sirius’ hair. 

“Mm let’s go back to my apartment.” Remus whispered. Sirius nodded and grabbed his boyfriends hand, leading him out of the room. Once he opened the door he was met with a very bored looking Sara. 

“Sirius! Do you want to go back to my place? I was thinking I could help you…  _ relax. _ ” 

“Sorry but I actually have to uh, go do someone- uh  _ something,  _ something.” The two boys pushed past her and made their way out to Remus’ car.

Remus tried to keep his eyes on the road but was feeling uncomfortable in his trousers. They pulled into the parking lot and rushed inside, eager. Once the door was closed Sirius hopped into Remus’ arms, pressing hard kisses to his neck. 

“Fuck, bedroom, bedroom.” Remus panted, walking the two of them to his bed. Remus pulled Sirius on top of him. Kissing him hard on the mouth. Remus hooked his ankles around the back of Sirius’ legs, flipping their position. He looked down at the boy briefly, feeling breathless. He ground down hard on Sirius, pulling out a whimper from the shorter boy. 

“Fuck me, god. Please Re.” Remus paused for a second, making Sirius writhe at the loss of friction. 

“Whose are you?” Remus said, taking Sirius’ wrists and holding them above his head. 

“Fuck Moony, I’m yours.” Sirius breathed, desperately wanting to touch the other boy. 

“Again.” Remus breathed, sucking on Sirius’ neck. The boy's breath hitched. 

“I’m yours, shit I’m yours, Remus.” Remus ground down hard, biting gently at the mark he had made. Sirius bit back a moan, bucking his hips up. Remus pulled Sirius up, taking his shirt off. Remus followed suit, moving just a tad to make Sirius crazy. 

Remus slid off of Sirius, walking over to the other side of the bed. Sirius whined, palming his dick through his sweatpants. Remus slid his pants off and riffled through his side table drawer, throwing a bottle of lube and a condom onto the bed. Sirius huffed as he saw Remus climb back onto the bed. Remus swung back on top of Sirius and kissed him gently. The taller boy lightly pushed his fingers under the shorter boy’s waistband, causing Sirius to gasp lightly. 

“Do you still want to?” Remus whispered. Sirius let a smile crack over his face,

“ _ Fuck _ , yes.” Remus kissed Sirius, flicking his tongue out and biting Sirius’ bottom lip. Remus slowly pulled the other boy’s sweatpants down, running his fingers down his legs. Sirius was undone, his breathing was sporadic. Remus pulled one of Sirius’ legs up, resting it on his shoulder and kissing the inside of his thighs. Sirius began to babble,  _ he was perfect _ . Remus paused for a minute, rolling the condom on. Sirius stayed staring at his boyfriend, breathing heavily. 

Remus decided to tease Sirius a little by trailing his fingers up and down the length of his body gently, barely touching his skin. Sirius squirmed under his touch, arching his back into Remus. Remus ran his hand over Sirius’ chest and up to his chin, holding it gently. 

“Open your mouth, love.” Sirius did, opening his mouth for Remus to slide two fingers in.

Sirius closed his lips around Remus’ fingers, sucking on them. 

Remus bit his lip, the feeling of Sirius’ tongue on his fingers driving him crazy.

“Fuck you look so pretty baby,” Sirius let out a breathy moan, closing his eyes and sucking a little harder.

Remus pressed a row of kisses to the inside of Sirius’ thigh, getting dangerously close to where he knew Sirius wanted his mouth. Sirius’ breath sped up the closer Remus got, but the boy pulled away realizing the change in breathing.

Remus used his other hand to run absentmindedly up and down Sirius’ leg, drawing a groan from the boy under him as his hand tightened around Sirius’ thigh.

Remus pulled his fingers from Sirius’ mouth, figuring they were coated well enough for an easy glide.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Sirius breathed. Remus smiled slyly.

“A tease? Is that so,” Remus trailed his fingers slowly down Sirius’ body again.

“If you wanted me to tease all you had to do was ask,” Sirius clamped his mouth shut. 

“ _ Fuck _ .” Sirius breathed, realizing what he had just walked into.

Remus sat back on his heels, letting Sirius’ leg down and reaching over to grab the bottle he’d thrown on the bed earlier, popping the cap and squeezing a bit on to his hand. 

Sirius’ hands itched to touch Remus, but he tried to keep his hands to himself, for the time being at least. 

Remus decided he wasn’t finished with being a tease just yet, so he wrapped his hand around himself, his eyes slipping closed and his mouth opening a bit. He moved it in slow, languid pulls, opening his eyes to see Sirius just staring, lip pulled between his teeth. Remus smiled and let out a huff of a laugh, tightening his grip ever so slightly making himself groan through gritted teeth.

This went on for a few seconds longer before Sirius couldn’t hold back anymore, reaching a hand out to touch Remus, but his hand was caught at the wrist. Remus gathered both of Sirius’ wrists in his hand, pinning them over his head.

“Not so fast there sweetheart, you’ll get what you want soon, but not just yet.” Remus said, leaning down to press a few kisses to the side of Sirius’ neck. He continued to touch himself, letting out obscene sounds right into Sirius’ ear, making the smaller boy under him groan in frustration. 

“Fuck, Remus  _ please.”  _ Sirius breathed as Remus bit his neck gently.

“Please what? What do you want?” Remus prodded, smiling against his skin. Sirius took a shaky breath before speaking.

“You know what.” Sirius huffed. Remus made a noncommittal noise but kept pressing kisses to Sirius’ neck.

“Not sure I do, I think you might need to tell me again.” He teased, lifting his head to look at Sirius. Sirius held his breath for a moment, not wanting to speak.

“I want  _ you.”  _ Sirius said, swallowing hard, a smile on his face, “You and no one else.” Remus felt heat rise to his cheeks, leaning down to kiss Sirius slowly. 

Remus hitched Sirius’ legs around his waist, rubbing the back of his hand over the backside of Sirius’ thigh.

“This okay?” He asked softly, pressing a kiss to Sirius’ cheek. Sirius nodded frantically, just wanting Remus to  _ touch him.  _

Remus took the bottle of lube, rubbing a little on his fingers before inserting one into Sirius. Sirius let out an  _ ungodly _ moan. Remus pumped slowly, adding another one. Sirius groaned into it.

“Feels so good- R’mus.” Remus worked for a couple seconds, stretching Sirius out before taking his fingers out and pushing himself in. 

“Re, Re, fuck, Re.” Sirius babbled. Remus’ eyelids fell heavy with lust and pure bliss and he slowly rocked his hips. Remus leaned down, Sirius wrapping his hands around the back of his neck and kissing him  _ hard _ . 

“Faster,  _ please Moony. _ ” Remus finally obliged to Sirius’ begging and began to speed up, sucking hickies onto his boyfriend’s neck. Sirius was a moaning mess, his speech was incoherent and slurred. 

“Feel good baby?” Remus whispered, tugging on Sirius’ earlobe. Sirius whined in response, unable to form words. Remus began to rock faster, watching Sirius fall apart. Sirius’ entire body tensed as he was hit with a blinding high. Remus pushed in hard, wanting to make Sirius feel good. Remus’ hips stuttered and he shook, breathing hard. When Remus was able, he moved out of Sirius and threw the dirty condom into the trash bin. Sirius barely moved except for throwing an arm over his eyes and smiling wide. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Sirius whispered, letting his words fill the entire room. Remus laid down next to his boyfriend and pressed a slow kiss to his lips,

“I love you, Pads.  _ God _ I love you.” 

The two boys sat in bliss, neither of them wanting to move but knowing they needed to. Sirius tried to get up to grab a washcloth but his legs felt like they would fall out from under him at any moment.

“You good there, love?” Remus chuckled.

“Mm you fucked me too hard, mm legs won’t work. You’re just so good.” Sirius rambled. Remus chuckled and grabbed the towel out of the bathroom, cleaning Sirius off first, then himself. After he flopped back on the bed, pulling the smaller boy against him, his phone began to ring. Remus groaned and blindly reached for his phone.

“Mm yeah?” Remus greeted drowsily. 

“Did you and Sirius make up?” James asked, sounding slightly worried.

“Yeah we made up, for like- an hour.” Remus mumbled.

“Jesus fucki-” James began, but Remus hung up the phone before he could hear the rest of James’ tangent. Sirius giggled, burying his face into the taller boy’s neck. 


	13. Chapter 13

Remus woke up to light kisses being peppered on his neck. 

“Mm g'morning.” Remus grumbled, stretching his arms above his head. Sirius hummed and continued pressing the lazy, open mouth kisses along Remus’ neck. 

“How’re you feelin’?” Remus asked, threading a hand through Sirius’ hair. 

“Mm, _amazing_ , but a little sore.” Sirius said, smiling against the other boy’s neck. 

“We can take a hot shower, it’ll help.” Sirius hummed happily and nosed Remus’ jaw. Remus kissed the top of Sirius’ head and pulled him close against him, grazing his hand over the other boy's lower back. Remus felt his eyelids get heavy and he drifted back into sleep. About an hour and a half later Remus woke. Sirius was stroking the scar on the side of the other boy’s face, his eyes fixated on the mark. When he noticed the other boy waking up, he quickly moved his hand. 

“We should probably get up.” Sirius sighed.

“What time is it?” Remus questioned.

“Quarter to eleven.” Remus watched as Sirius sat up, letting the sheets pool around his hips. Remus smiled and sat up, snaking a hand to touch his boyfriend’s hip. 

“Your hair is a mess baby.” Remus laughed, shoving his face into the nape of Sirius’ neck. 

“And whose fault is that?” Sirius responded, lifting Remus’ hand to press a soft kiss on his knuckles. 

“Touché, Black.” 

Before they had gotten in the shower, they decided to go make some food first. 

“What do you want for lunch, baby?” Remus asked, looking through the fridge. 

“Erm, grilled cheese?” Sirius answered, the gears in his head turning with other thoughts.

“Sirius, what are you thinking about love?” Remus whispered, gently pulling the other boy’s chin to look at him.

“About yesterday. I wanted to apologize. I know I already did but it truly is to protect you. I can explain what happened with my mum if you want or just not speak of it, I just want to protect you. I love you, Re.” Sirius rambled.

“Hey love, it's alright. But to be honest an explanation would be nice.” Sirius took a deep breath and began.

“Okay well, about a week ago I had left my phone on one of the benches in the locker room while at press and I guess you had texted me, she saw it. She decided to take a picture of it and later sent it to me saying that if I didn’t ‘quit my homosexual ways’ she was going to out you too. And I didn’t want that.” Sirius subsequently pulled out his phone and showed Remus the text message his mother had sent him that day, including the image blackmail. 

_Sirius, you really think I wouldn’t find out about your little love affair? Maybe don’t leave your phone out next time. If you don’t quit you homosexual ways I may have to just tell the press about whats going on so you can see the repercussions. Either end your so-called ‘relationship’ with that teammate of yours and get a girlfriend or the press is going to hear about this. I will not support this experiment of yours._

“Wow, okay.” Remus said shakily, pushing a hand through his hair.

“How about we eat some lunch and just take the day off.” he continued with a smile. Sirius smiled sweetly in return and wrapped his arms around the other boy's waist.

After eating Sirius playfully tugged Remus towards the bathroom, trying to kiss him but laughing too much. Finally Sirius kissed him hard on the mouth, swiping his tongue against the bottom of Remus’ lip and the boy was undone. Remus tugged Sirius hard into the room and kissed him deeply, his hand pushing under the other boy's shirt.

“Oh did I get you all riled up?” Sirius chuckled, noticing the hot line pressed against his leg. 

“Yes, now shut up.” Sirius obliged. Remus pulled Sirius' shirt off and ran his hands down the sides of his body. Remus took his own shirt off and then kissed Sirius as he fiddled with the buckle of his belt. Sirius reached down to help Remus and then moved to his own. Remus broke the kiss to kick his trousers and pants off and turn on the shower. Sirius removed the rest of his clothes and then was pulled forwards as Remus looped his arms around the waist of the other boy. Remus pulled him in for one last hot kiss and then moved him under the spray of the water. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Sirius muttered against the other boy’s skin. Remus kissed him, slow and dirty, wrapping his hand around to his ass. 

“Mm I love you so much.” Remus muttered, rubbing his thumb back and forth across Sirius’ hip bone. Remus moved his mouth down to Sirius’ neck, biting gently. Sirius let out a muffled moan and reached in between the two of them, gripping both of them with one hand. Remus let out a gasp as Sirius’ hand quickened it’s pace. 

“Fuck.” Remus mumbled, holding Sirius closer, pressing open mouthed kisses to the side of his neck. 

A thought flashed through Sirius’ mind, making his stomach flip. Sirius pumped his hand a few more times, listening to Remus’ soft panting breaths, before he stopped moving his hand completely. Remus pulled back from Sirius’ neck, still breathing heavily. 

“Wait why’d you stop? Is everything okay?” Remus asked, worry in his words. Sirius smiled mischievously.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting a little payback from last night,” Remus smiled and nodded, clearly a little annoyed. 

“Such a fucking tease,” Remus said, leaning against the wall, Sirius’ hand still wrapped around them both.

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it then?” Sirius asked, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth playfully.

“I can take care of myself, if you’re going to be a tease,” Remus pushed Sirius back a little, beginning to move towards the shower curtain, when Sirius grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving. 

“Wait, wait no don’t leave.” Sirius tugged him back gently, but Remus turned back around quickly, grabbing Sirius’ wrist, pinning it to the wall behind him gently, pulling a giggle from Sirius. 

“What do you suggest I do then?” Remus leaned down, biting Sirius’ earlobe gently. 

Sirius closed his eyes while Remus began kissing and biting his neck. 

“Fuck,” Sirius choked out. Remus kissed up the column of Sirius’ throat, pulling his chin towards him for another hard kiss.

“What was that? I don’t think I heard you,” Remus said, his voice gruff. Sirius stayed quiet for a moment, just enjoying Remus kissing him. 

“Tell me baby.” Remus said as he pulled back, making Sirius’ knees almost give out.

“Fuck _me_ ,” He breathed. Remus pushed their hips together, sucking a mark onto the other boy’s neck. Remus reached in between them, gripping the two of them tightly and taking his other hand to trail lightly on Sirius’ side. Sirius moaned quietly as he kissed Remus. Remus began to move his hand in long, slow pulls. 

“Moony, please.” Sirius muttered, letting his head fall against the shower wall. Remus moved faster, beginning to fuck his own hand. 

“Fuck, how are you so hot?” Sirius said, a gentle smile on his face. 

“I could ask the same to you.” Remus all but groaned. Before he knew, Remus felt himself falling apart, continuing to move his hand to bring himself down. Sirius leaned back against the wall and gripped himself as Remus’ hand loosened.

“Oh fuck, baby I’m sorry.” Remus murmured, sinking to his knees, feeling the water hit his back. He removed Sirius’ hand and replaced it with his own, moving it to the base as he took the rest into his mouth. 

“Jesus-” Sirius groaned, gripping Remus’ wet hair. Remus hummed around Sirius, making the boy squirm. Remus moved his tongue around, hearing Sirius babble. As soon as he knew it, he shot into Remus’ mouth, panting hard. Remus rose back up to his feet, placing a soft kiss on Sirius’ cheek and then pulled them both under the spray, rubbing his hands over his boyfriends shoulders. 

“I love you Pads.” Remus whispered, beginning to massage Sirius’ hair. 

“I love you s’much.” Sirius replied, wrapping his arms around the taller boy’s shoulders. 

The cup was next week, _next fucking week_ , and Remus was scared shitless. So many things could go wrong, he could fuck everything up, more stuff could come out about Sirius, he could cost the team the cup. He sat on the locker room bench, rubbing his temples as the other guys buzzed around him. 

“Hey Moons, don’t stress about this game man, It’ll be easy.” James said, sitting next to Remus.

“It’s not just that, y’know playoffs are soon, and I’m worried about Sirius and the press- it’s just a lot.” He rambled. 

“Everything’s gonna be fine, Remus. And if anything happens let me know and we’ll take care of you.” Remus nodded and thanked James before leaving to warm up, shaking out his nerves. 

The announcer's voice boomed in the stadium.

“This is the last game for the Lions before the championship! They are twenty-eight to five this season and it’s up to this game to see if they can make it to the cup! Welcome to the field the Hufflepuff Badgers!” Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, praying to whatever deity would listen. He felt a weight in his hand and looked next to him to see Sirius with a soft smile.

“You’ll be great-” He whispered, soon being cut off by the speakers.

“Now welcome the Gryffindor Lions!” 

Remus stood in shock for a second- they were going to the championship, _the championship._

“Holy fuck we did it!” Jonathan yelled from down the field, making a large grin spread across Remus’ face. The team all ran into each other, dogpiling into a group hug. 

“We’re going to the championship boys!” Will screamed, shaking the guys around him. They all headed into the locker room, screaming their lungs out. 

“Remus!” Sirius called, walking over quickly. He pulled him into a tight hug, pushing away after a second, words on the tip of his tongue.

“Can I kiss you?” Remus blurted out, holding his breath after realizing what he had just said. Before he could apologize Sirius was pressing a hard kiss to the boy’s lips, struggling not to break the kiss with his grin. 

“Holy fuck!” Daniel called from across the room, jumping up and down while holding Chris’ shoulders. The room erupted in catcalls and whistles as Sirius buried his face in Remus’ neck. 

“When the _fuck_ did that happen- and can I be best man at your wedding?” Oliver screamed, flailing his hands. 

“That's my job!” James retorted before bursting into laughter. Sirius turned towards the rest of his team, face red but still plastered with a smile,

“Okay, okay, it’s my hypothetical wedding I get to choose, now come on- Were going to the _fucking cup,_ lets go celebrate and get drunk as hell.” 

The ride to the bar was quiet. Remus couldn’t stop smiling. He kept taking glances at Sirius to try and catch his reaction, but his eyes were glued out the window, silently beaming behind curtains of hair. Remus reached over and took the hand that was fiddling with the hem of Sirius’ shirt, holding it tightly in his own. Sirius looked over, eyes finally meeting Remus’. 

“You alright over there?” Remus asked, glancing between the road and Sirius. Sirius just kind of shook his head in disbelief.

“I just...I’m not even sure what to feel. Fuck I’m just so-wow. I don’t-can’t...words.” He laughed lightly. Remus nodded along.

“Yeah, yeah I feel the same.” Remus couldn’t put into words how he felt. It was excitement, extreme excitement, but at the same time, there was a voice in the back of his mind telling him that this would all come crumbling down at some point. He pushed that voice down and away quickly, focusing on the intense happiness instead. 

They pulled into a spot in front of the bar, shutting the engine off. Sirius took a deep slow breath, trying to calm down a little.

“How many questions do you think we’ll get?” He asked, Remus shrugged and chuckled.

“A lot. Other than James, I don’t think anyone else knew.” He looked over to Sirius, giving his hand one last squeeze in reassurance before getting out. 

Once through the door, all eyes were on them. An eerie silence fell over their friends, making the two stop in their tracks. That is until Will gave both Remus and Sirius a polite shove inside. 

They all sat at the bar, some already on their third drink when the questions started to roll in. 

“Okay, okay. So- how long-?” Daniel hiccupped, taking a swig of his drink.

“Since about, like May.” Remus responded, sitting down besides James.

“So when Sirius had that hickey… Oh my god! We’re so fucking stupid.” Ollie rambled, dramatically throwing a hand to his head. James nodded knowingly drawing a bit of the attention off of the two.

“James- what, did you know?,” Patrick asked, setting his drink down, a little sloshing over the side. James just smiled and raised his eyebrows.

“I have been sworn to secrecy.” Was all he said. Ollie looked up quickly.

“And you didn’t even tell us!” He cried, rubbing his eyes.

“That’s kind of the point of a secret, but you know now!” Sirius sat quietly for a moment, eyes glued to his phone.

“Re, can I talk to you outside for a minute?” Sirius whispered, fidgeting with his hand. The two excused themselves briefly and made their way outside, just a few feet away from the door. 

“She- she fucking did it. She released the pictures. I did what she asked. I don’t understand I’m sorry-” Sirius was rambling. Remus just looked at him with a dumb smile.

“Wait you’re not upset? What about the EFL, what are they going to think?” Remus just laughed and shook his head.

“At this moment I don’t care, this has been one of the best nights of my life Pads. I kissed you infront of the team, were going to the fucking cup. I love you-” Remus leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips.

“And now I can do that.” 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Sirius muttered into the other boy’s shoulder. 


End file.
